Saturday, January 01, 2005

a new year...so new everything...new me??i hope so...iv been tryn so hard to get over him...i mean iv stopped thinkin as much as i used to...like wondering this n that and well tryn to move on (hell iv got 4 guys after me)..but like i dunno y but sumthings holding me back..im trying so hard to forget everything but each time i tink of anything it just hurts...no i dont cry although i m crying now...like just now i took 67 n i woke up juz as it was passing his place...n suddenli like a tear ran down my face..i didnt evn realise it..i mean i kno that the other guys are nice n well i myt like either one..but im done with getting hurt...i was so willing to wait for him..no matter how long it took...but lookin @ things..i dont know if he wants me to..sumtymz i feel like such a fool..i mean i was wondering to myself what i would do if my mom was the one who didnt approve..well like jimmy did..tell his parents to go to hell..cos i love him..

god..this tsunami thingy is realli bad...at 1st wen it 1st happend i didnt think it could b so terrible..over 120000 people oredi..n i tink the worst is seeing parents who hev lost their children...like this one man...lost 5 outta 7 kids...and this woman who lost all 7 kids n husband...i mean...its like i bet they myt b tinkin y couldnt they go 1st...i know if that happend to me id giv my life for my kids to survive..but act...come to think of it...who will suffer more..the ones who lost their lives...or those who survive n who will have to live without them..im thankful spore didnt get impacted by it...but part of me well mayb wishd it did..dun ask y..mayb unconciously i wish i was ther wen it happend..its making me see now that u gota live life as best as u can...dont hold back...uv onli got so little time n anithin can happen...wic made me so temted to try again but i didt...i wont..not ever..im only gonna risk gettin hurt again...i kno its stupid to wait silentli cos he wont possibli kno..but well theres such a thing called unrequited love...n one sided love..guess thats it..mayb thats the kinda love i shuld hev...no heartbreak...n evn if he meets sum1 else then ill b happi for him...well since im gonna live life as well as i cen...guess that means givin one of those guys a chance...ah well..at least im gna hev sum1 to hang with at skool who isnt gushing over vijay 90% of the time...

klah ill update u on wad i did new years later..now i need sleep..

-HAPPY NEW YEAR-

LOVE YOU ALL and remember

YOU LIVE ONLY ONCE AND TIME NEVER TURNS BACK SO LIVE LIFE AS LIKE THERES NO TOMOROW COS WELL U NEVER KNOW WHEN UR GONNA GO

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