juz got home...slept a while...cant sleep thou...kept on wakin up to see if hez onlyn...i kno i kno he wont b up..juz wanted to try my luck...god i dunno wad to do...i actualli wanted to mayb try tellin him how i feel again today but i decided not to do it...y...1 word..friday..each tym i take the train with him or sumthin it feels so damn weird..its like as thou he delibrateli ignores me..n like dat tym wen we went to bugis..i felt so left out...thank god lach wuz around...mayb i shuld juz get outta his life for good...i mean if he realli doesnt like being near me or arnd me then y shuld i care so much anymore...i wanted a sign from him anything to show that mayb juz mayb he still feels the same but i doubt it...mayb i shuld juz move on...i mean..."garfield" wants to b with me...n well mayb i shuld juz giv it a shot...kb askd me who i wanna b with now...n well i wanna b with sop...god..i keep repeatin da same old thing...oh damn it...im gonna let go now...its time...im done with cryin myself to sleep...remembering everything we had...its time i sold myold handphone...its good all the msgs frm him were saved on the phone..not the card so i cant read the old smses...
Sophan
if ur readin this wic i doubt I juz wanna say that well im sorry for everything For how everythin turned out I promised myself i wont cry wen i write this so i wont From now on i tink things btwn us will prob b like things btwn me n hafiz I dont know if thats what u want Its not waht i want but at the rate things are goin The way it seems liike u dun wanna b near me Mayb its best I dont wanna b around u onli to b treated like i dont exist I know ur prob happier now U certainli look happpier now So i dont wana stand in your way
U weren't my 1st love but well i did love u And i still do But well its been a month and well its time I read an old entry of myn wen i sed i was glad i stayed back Well now I take that back..the 4 months with u may contained the happiest times in my life but a part of wishd i never had to go through it I wish i never met u sumtymz Wish i had stayed alone So i wuldnt hev to go through this pain Each time i see u i wanna reach out but i know its useless Each time i do i get rejected Makes me wonder why sum idiots fall in love That’s y I never wanted 2 fall in love…don’t see the use Sum1 will alwez end up getting hurt N im sick of it sick of crying sick or wondering sick
I was doing fine on my own Fine doing everything alone Fine not needin anyone but u came along U made me happi Made me look forward to every single day Evertym im with u I feel like everythin is perfect Yeah I did make mistakes but theyre called mistakes for a reason Act I blame myself Shuldv known better than to have added u on friendster n msn It was a stupid move N even stupider was likin u and falling in love with u Cos in the end we both ended up getting hurt Whats the point I myt as well i just leave
Ill still remember everythin the 1st time we went out That tuesday on the train The 1st kiss when u missed like 2 busses Fort canning That Barney Song Sentosa Chattin on msn for hours Me stickin my tongue out @ u when u least expect it Hangin out at my place Funan's kfc/pizzahut/taco bell Irobot Istana park The wonderful way u alwez seem to know how to make me feel better What to say and do to make me realize wad a putz i am to doubt u when i alwez do The times wen I was at work missin u like crazy wenever I was hopin to see u but well I never get to
To that Tuesday wen u smsd me I culdnt sleep at all I wanted to shoot myself for sayin those things on my blog to make u so pissed I tot it was better on Thursday But it wasn’t I misunderstood everythin again n on Friday it was worse Then durin the chalet on Monday I felt a glimmer of hope again But u dashed em again on Tuesday From the time u sed it was over till now iv been either cryin myself to sleep or not sleepin at all Reverted back to my old ways of dealing with pain I honestly hate myself and life itself but im not one of those loons to contemplate suicide
Argh Heck it lah I dun wanna start crying again Im just tryn to say that im walkin outa ur life now For good. You don’t have to pretend to like being around me I wish u all the happiness in the world & I no longer hope n pray for us to even b frenz I can see that u urself cant b bothered to treat me like one
Ill juz remain invisible to u
posted by naddz @ 4:50 AM
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