mentally unstable

well i juz read lyn's blog..n i guess she n *u noe hu* had a fyt again....hang in there lyn...ur xams r comin....try 2 tahan ok n do ur best 4 ur xams....haiz..i dun gettit..y isit alwez the gurls that put their all in2 relationships n get nothin back...the guys alwez take em for granted...its not fair to us....y cant guys feel the pain n hurt that gurls alwez feel whenever we take the risk to go in2 a relationships...sure i noe that in most of my relationships im da bitch...ok 1st...rahmat...well dats wasnt actualli a relationship...n hey were still frenz till now..then it wuz that overseas skool guy...yuck...it wasnt even a relationshiplah..then eman...urh..ok i gues i was da 1 hu inflicted da pain...then zhofry..hey he broke up with me for sum gelled hair minah ok...n i wasnt even datin awal dat time n he had da nerve to get jealous n pissed at me...hello he got 2gther with her 10 days after our break up...n then ihsan...well err...he had it comin da whole time..hell i wanted 2 dump him since da day he got mad cos i smsd ammar...gundu...n then there was wats his name....n well i guess i was da guilty party....n then hafiz...ok i admit i did hurt him at 1st..but i wanted a chance n he didnt wanna giv it to me..n ok now i wanna testify my actions after the break up....i admit that i played soccer with the 51 guys that night...but hell i spent the whole day crying like an idiot n i had 2 stop sumhow....n if i hadnt gone 2 play soccer dat nyt hu noes what i wuld hev done....n yeah mayb it wuld hev given others da rong idea but cumon...i onli had them....so waf could i do....n well i dunno y he tot i wuz with nordin or whatever....i juz hung out with him abbit....he has a wife...n im not da kind to potong jalan...heck it...dun care..its been 6 months...gotta 4get it...niwez..i juz wanna take this time to say that i hate relationships..n i never never wanna get in2 a relationship again...i give up i tell ya..dun wanna get hurt animore...well mayb ill take 1 more risk n if i get hurt..then thats it..no more..ill juz marry sum guy hu has money...hu cares if i dun love him....love cant buy u a home n nice clothes ryt...ok then...so whiicever guy hu likes me...juz tell me lah...cos if im with sum1 after this n it doesnt last...then no more...ill onli go 4 guys with more than 1000 in their bank after this...sick of pain oredi...sick of cryin myself to sleep..sick of hating myself n thinkin im not perfect n mutilatin myself...hell one of these days ill prob die of a rotten liver or lung or whatever it is that bulimia does to ur body...then again i dont care...no1 even gives a shit it i die so y da hell shuld i even care...

posted by naddz @ 10:04 AM