fucklah!!!i thought i was over this..over him over everything..so y is this getting to me so much..why does it alwez hurt wenever i see him n i get nothin...whenever hez online n he says nothin n whenever he goes offline..each time i get a msg im alwez hopin its him but its not..i keep tellin myself that i like idham but i know im onli lying to myself..guess im using idham to get over him...so not workin...i had nothin better to do juz now so i read his blog...it has very few entries so easylah...n as i read the tears kept on flowin n flowin like waterfall..it hurts knowing that he used to feel the way he did n well those feelings are gone now..i know him n me never gonna happen..sumhow i see the pattern..no im not assumin stuff..like with me n hafiz...wen we were talkin durin da breakup he didnt look me in the eye at all n neither did he...n we were still sorta frenz after that but after a while it juz hurt too much to keep in contact with him n i guess now me n sop myt juz end up dat way...the thought of it is so painful but its sumthing i gotta live with...im juz gonna close my heart to anything and anyone..god..why is my life such a mess now...i cant stop crying..the thought of goin to skool is dreadful and like im swirlin back into my depression state...crap sia i def dun wanna end up in hospital again...
screw that..things happen for a reason anyway..finish at 5 2moro..myt skip thou then again no..i havnt skippd a thing this week..wana head to pasir ris park to juz walk around n think..or fort canning..yeah it reminds me totalli of him but what to do sia..wher else can i go to b alone n well juz try to forget bout all the shit in my life..sure ill prolly end up breaking down but well i juz cant bear to b at home..if i come onlyn ill see him..plus its week five..hence the start of nadiah cmin home real late..ok lah..iv had enuf of feelin sorry for myself..gonna either slit my wrists or cry myself to sleep..*KIDDINGLAH* well juz bout the slittin my wrists part that is
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