Tuesday, September 28, 2004

dont hev any idea why i soo cannot sleep...cant seem to know whats going on in my life anymore...i hate it esp when i think things are going well n suddenli they go wrong...i gotta admit last sat i wuz beginning to have doubts bout my relationship with him...n it wuz all bcos of what he sed bout sending me home n stuff...somehow i started wonderin if hez stayin with me cos he feels sorry for me or what...worst still i wuz beginin to wonder if i wuz realli totalli over hafiz....i mean...i know i am over him...but seeing him on friday started to trigger old feelings...worst still fri wuz like exactli a year since he got intrested in me n askd akash for my num...but i resolved all those feelins on sun morn/sat nyt...i wuz contemplatin askin him for a short break even....but part of me knew i love him...even if i hev feelins for hafiz...those are dormant feelings....gone oredi...but u knowlah...hard to forget 1st loves u know...hey i may overeact over things that he sez n dat alwez makes him feel that hes rong but hez not...hez alwez been so sweet to me n loving n well i know im lucky that iv got him in my life....at times i wonder what i would do if iv got another chance to b with hafiz....i know a small part of me would run back to him in a split second but a huge part of me wont even think twice...y....isnt it obvious...i somehow wish that i didnt seem like such an mbarassment to him...i knoe he doesnt want sum people to know bout me...thats y i alwez pretend dat i dun know him if we run in2 people he knows....i totalli understand it...but well gues it kinda hurts a bit...makes me feel like insignificant...see...told u im such a pain...oh well..i know that i dun wanna blow this...im not gonna blow this...it matters too much to me...n well...for a fact if it does fall apart im gonna b such a wreck...n well...im oredi preparin myself for it...not that i tink itll happen.just in case....realli dun wanna b too affected...almost a year of depression...bulimia...suicide attempts is enough...

posted by naddz @ 3:31 AM

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home