1.35pm
ok i caved..im sorry..i smsd him..he wont repli dats for sure..wic is good..i guess..dunnola..dunno wad i want or hope for..i hate having feelings...n he replied..argh..y..y..god i miss him so much..i hate this..shouldv juz stuck to the way i felt bout him the 1st few weeks..da tym i tot it wouldnt work out..but no..i just had to fall for him..bloody fuckin shitt...i didn wanna fall for him..y y y...stupid stupid me..im an idiot...a huge monementally big idiot!!!
8.57pm
it shouldnt even b a problem anymore..wev been apart for more than 2months..hell even longer..i should b over it..over him..but im not..stupid huh..i recentli found that dinosaur thingy he won me at downtown east..put it into my box ryt after..yeah that box with the stuff dat reminded me of hafiz..his sweater,the photo albums n sum other stuff..haha..suddenli remembered the 1st time me n hafiz ate at pastamania..the loon made me keep the damn receipt..i tink it was like the day after we got together..annyway..was talkin to faizal juz now(yepp we made up)n now i dunno who i actualli liked more..i mean with hafiz evrything was smooth sailing the whole time(well minus that time we had a major blowout cos of the 51 guys but that was ok in the mornin)..till the breakup n the post breakup drama..with sop it had plenty of probs n stuff..but overall it was good..but with sop i was a lot more reserved..didnt let myself open up till after a few weeks..compared to hafiz(wic i so wont go into)..guess cos after hafiz i was still kinda scared..but the one thing i dun wan is to take more than 9 months to get over sop..i mean it took me 9 months to finalli get it in2 my system dat me n hafiz are totalli never ever ever gonna happen..ok iv got a qn...if i was to get intrested in my grandmothers sisters,son's son is that ok??cos if it not then iv got a major major major problem...i mean i used to hev a teeny weeny crush on him as a kid n got over it in sec sch but now..hez kinda noticed dat im alive n well the looks hez givin me now is soo like a bit obvious sia...(hevin class now)..plus since he joined ns he is kinda sorta da hot..oh god wad m i sayin..who m i kiddin..i cant do this..all the dating n almost relationships..like so far..things have taxied but never taken off with 3 guys..its not like theyre not great..but juz wen i look @ em i keep seeing him..n it scares me..cos i dun wanna fall for these guys..sumhow i feel like if i like another guy or even date one its like im cheatin him cos i still hev feelins for him..hez online now i so far iv done the click ,type but close window thingy twice..its killing me being apart from him but sumtymz the tot of him fallin for sum1 new is worse..shit..i cant tear up..shit shit..dats it..stop it with the emo trip..gona stop now..
posted by naddz @ 12:20 PM
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