mentally unstable

i watchd the notebook(the whole thing) juz now n onli now did i realise that well..i watchd it with him(sophan)..still remember what a pain i was being juz cos i kept gettin bailed out on..n he actualli went to watch it with me even thou he wanted to go study..come to think of it i was a pain durin the whole relationship..n he tolerated t..ok i admit it..mayb i still hev feelings for him..i guess i miss the feeling of being in love..gosh was that what it was love??hell i thought i was over this..but judgin frm the crying..im so not..i mean i know that even if there was a chance i doubt ill wanna get back with him but i dunno..i miss him i guess..i miss the fights we had that started frm god knows what..i miss either one of us forsaking our egos n apologisin..i miss all the talks we used to have at fc n the not talkin too ;) ..i miss the way his hand would just find mine durin cp or cadm when the lecturer was ryt ther..or how he would stick his tongue out at me when i least xpect it n vice versa..how he used to call me weird n i would b like "thanks"..n id call him crazy n hed do the same..i miss him acting more adult than i am..n kickin me to my senses..sometimes i wish that things were still that way..but its been almost 4 months since it ended..guess at some point i gota realise that they will never be that way..and well im fine now..dead scared at the thought of falling for sum1 new tho i tink i...oh nvm..this time i kno wad im gettin myself in2..ultimately i know what will happen in the end..n ill do evrythin in my power not to fall..i dont wanna get hurt again..once is enough..

posted by naddz @ 8:12 PM