mentally unstable

ok update...got flowers frm god knows who at the atrium..went out with shafie..he got me flowers too..had fun but well i felt nothin for him..i mean..remember how the 1st time i met hafiz we juz clicked..at 1st it was weird..for like da 1st 10 minutes..wen we watchd indiana jones..it was cool..we were even sittin like a couple..n like after that evrythin just fell in2 place..it just felt so right u kno..n i felt comfortable with him..not self concious bout my scar or wad im wearin or nithn..but with shafie..i was like that..the awkwardness lasted till arnd 6 40..then we juz talked n talked till arnd 8plus..then went to eat n hung out at delifrance..he paid(first time i tink i never paid for a thing)..i dunno..i mean mayb hez just another sagar..its not that hez not likable..but i just dun feel nithin..no chemistry nothin..tinkin bout it..well mayb its just like when i was tryn to get over hafiz...took me months to meet sum1 i actualli lke more than hafiz..mayb its da same thing now..i need time to heal..its just that i dont want time..i just want everything to b one way...either he n e work things out*hah* or i find sum1 better..*not gona happen*..oh hell..mayb i shuld just turn dyke..n oh yeah he ignored my existance juz now at 51..i realli wanted to say sumthin to him..but whats the point..he didnt even so much as look at me..well..like the sayin goes..only a fool would love sum1 n not expect nothin in return..n im the biggest fool..what else is new huh..

posted by naddz @ 11:27 PM