mentally unstable

eeep!!!ok..so i went to skewl at like 11 plus..n todays fri so i knew got big chance ill see sop when goin class n mayb hafiz..but what i didnt count was bein stuck in the same sodding train as hafiz..i got 1 helluva heart attack..n hell my heart was racing when i got off the train..hell i was so scared my legs would give way when i was goin down the mrt staircase..n we even took 154 together..i was like "goddammitlah"..ok so i keep on tellin myself to mayb smile when i see him but my automatic reaction is to alwez look away n try to remain calm n juz ignore him..ok so now i dont act like a bumbling baffoon nimore but i was close..urgh..sumhow i knew if i saw soppz id be worse..

whats this week..me keep on runnin into the 2 guys i once was bonkerz abt..hell i was nutzo bout hafiz till like god knows when cos im completely over him..n sop..well i unconciously still harbour sorta kinda feelings for him..now why isit i can totalli remain calm n heck it when i see whatshisname or any other guy i like but not the other 2..i see sop n i have to try my hardest not to just go up to him n kissing him..i see hafiz n my legs turn into jelly that hasnt been frozen enough..

urgh..so this fren of mine says i should do sumthin bout my sop thingy but i erm i don want to..i mean what am i supposed to say to him "hi..remember me?the girl who said she'd wait for u no matter how long but still got together with another guy for almost 9 or whatever months n during that time even asked u for advice when she n the guy had problems..well guess what..i never actually stopped having feelings for u the whole time..n i know i hurt u last time..i just want u to know i still love u n never stopped loving u"..wdf..he'lll probabli have a fit or sumthin..there i go again..my whacked out brain at work

posted by naddz @ 7:45 PM