Wednesday, December 08, 2004

ok..so skeewl juz started n i gota admit...not being with 1t04..now 1t02...kinda well definitely suks..no more ivan calling the lecturer cute or juz being damn iritating...no more kah boon bein well kah boon....n yes no more him...at 1st i was hating it...not bein able to sit next to him...look at him n juz smile when i tink of how much i love him..holdin his hand...but iv got mus...haha hangin with him was fun sia...n well the other classmates were pretty nice too...i mean undastandablelah...they hav been together for the past 3 semesters n now suddenli i join...itll b weird ryt...i kept on wantin n wantin to sms him but after a while i decided i wnt...unless i realli couldnt take it...n well after skewl i did take the train with him...it was so cold i juz wanted to hug him but sumthin held me back...i kinda had the feelin i shouldnt cos he probabli didnt want to..felt like he was keepin his distance n well so did i...it was killing me at that tym but i juz tahand...he left after n i hung out with syaril...yakked n yakked n ate with the loon...he n ida broke it off yet again...this time he tinks its for good..i hope not...anyways today...he started at 10 n so did i...was kinda hopin hed sms me in da morn n ask if i wanna meet to go skewl or sumthin but i tink as it was approachin 9 am...i realised "hez not gonna sms"...n like a tear ran down my cheek...i tink part of me was lettin go then...it was like..time to start walkin gal...ran into him on da way n after class i met the 51 guy @ canteen 1...didnt realise that i walked strait past the guys on da way..haha...sori all u guys...wasnt payin attention ah...sori ehh...nwe...pqs was booooring...fell asleep like after 5 mins hahahaha...but i like da classmates...met him again after...i dunnola..this time when im with him..i realli wanna b close to him n stuff but i cen feel him puttin up a barrier n i well...m gonna respect what he wants...god this hurts so much...but well..i was thinkin bout the proposition i got frm u kno hu...its like ok..when i wanted so much to b with u..u pushed me away...n now...iv moved on..gotten u outta my head n u want back it...well mayb i wuld go fot it...but well..i dun wanna...yes sophan doesnt wanna b with me...n i should move on...but well im over that sector of my life..moving on...sure a part of me reaali wants to give it a try...the other is is like wait for sophan...see what happenz...but another is like...juz give up on all...so wic 1???i still love sophan but i acceptd dat he n i are just frenz...i dun wanna just be his friend but i know its sumthin i have no power over...so im juz gonna accept things..sumtymz i act hop we'll b lyk lyn n syawal but im not tinkin bout it..wont...itll juz hurt me more...each tym i look @ him i wished it was the way it was 2 months ago..but thats just wishful thinkin...beginning to accept things that sum1 else will come into his life...he will fall for sum1..n that person is not me...im juz left with all the memories we had n that i will treasure forever...

posted by naddz @ 3:02 AM

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home