Thursday, December 02, 2004

i cant stop tinkin bout him...cant sleep at all...i didnt wan him to get pissed yest...i didnt mean for it to go badly..she wasnt even bringin him down...he juz got the wrong idea...now i feel so terrible...he wants me to forget him but i dun wanna..i still love him so much n i wanna b with him...but im scared that he doesnt..as much as i try not to think about it..iv juz got this feelin he likes sum1 else..i juz dun wna b the loser waitin arnd when he finds sum1 else he wants to b with...i wish that he could juz see how much i love him n wanna b with him no matter what but he tinks that i dun...yes...yes i know i was real bad at showin it...but now i want him in my life...n as much as i wan him arnd more than a fren i wont pressure him..ill wait no matter how long it takes n how much it hurts me...act i was wonderin..y in da world did he wanna make idham so jealous if he himself doesnt wanna b with me...like i tot..hey if u dun wan me isit so rong that he does...then i started wonderin if he was startin to like sum other gal...then i started to wonder if we realli hev a future together...i mean i dunno how long his mum will not allow him to b well u kno n well he did say he wanted to concentrate on his studies..that will b what 2 n a half years...then thers his ns..another 2 n a half...so i gta wait arnd 4 him 5 years..can i do that?i know il prolly can cos my feelins 4 him are strong..but prob is...he could easily lose him feelins then what..ill b jilted...i juz feel so lost ryt now...im gonna not let this affect me..im gonna get through today n survive..sure ill miss him terribli today but he has plans n well i juz got this feelin that thers sum1 that he likes who's included in his plans...oh lets juz say i saw it in an sms sumwher...hell i dun wanna jump in1 conclusions but i cant help gettin the idea...juz giv me a sign can...god...juz get it through ur head that I STILL BLOODY LOVE U....i still love u so much that its drivin me nuts....i dont know what to do anymore!!!!!

posted by naddz @ 4:47 AM

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