mentally unstable

1 more week..xactli...mum n gdad goin umrah(minor haj)..so happy for them yet im so jealous..hell i wanna go but now me n mums hols diffrent so cannot...oh well..at least i get the room now..no more sleepin in da hall..n the ps2 is goin in2 da room!!!wheeee!!!but il b out studyn da whole day so wads da point eyy..oh hu cares ill b home alone!!!well kinda...maid will b arnd...but still...whee...each day can eat out....n wen they get back..i get chocs!!!!ill juz wait till nxt year to go umrah...hopfully egypt 2...hah..gdad even suggested askin taufiq along..so i guess he doesnt not like taufiq eh...cool..dnt hav2 dump him nw...heh kiddinglahh...mayb when milan baros is available i myt reconsider ;p

posted by naddz @ 10:36 AM 0 Comments

my neverending craving of ice 

posted by naddz @ 10:05 AM 0 Comments

numb..hurt..confused..i wanna cry but the tears cnt even come out..know how u feel sumthin but dunt know for sure n as much as u wanna know the truth ud rather be disilusioned..cos u know that if u find out wadever u suspected is true ud b completely broken..well dats how i feel..at least i kno da truth..

posted by naddz @ 12:30 AM 0 Comments

i hate august..i hate this stupid week..why did i..oh yeah..cos im an idiot..i blieve in people too much n in the end i bloody get played out..hell its all bout them...i dun matter..screw that..my phone is a gone case so i gota get a new one..stupid nokia..stupid stupid..like me..hah..wait that is like duh ryt..ok ok breathe gal..now 2moro i can stay out late but do i have plans..well i did...they just got stomped on..typical lah..nxt time remind me dat wadever i want or work for or wish for..it wont happen...screw it..guys(meanin those dat let me down but still make up for it..aka eli,dan n gang)..please call me tomorow..its pathetic i kno but iv got nowher to go..so even if u decide to go n get stoned drunk ill come along..u all do need a designated cab hailer...well minus dan n matt cos if u two drink ill make sure u both drown!!!..love u..din..good luck for ur archery..u can do it man!!!n gain weitlah...unless u want me to be ur personal chef(or at least food buyer)..n sophan..good luck sat man..b sure to support u sat(cos i have nothin to do n i really wanna go nydc n look for darn blazers)hell i alwez hav an ulterior motive..so sue me

posted by naddz @ 12:55 AM 0 Comments

met akash n helmy juz now oso..funnila those two..nve see em so long n theyre likeso friendly..esp akash..miss hangin out with them like i used to..hell i miss a lota things frm 1st sem....hangin with akash n gang..not havin so many probs..

but isit possible to have feelins for diffrent people for diffrent reasons..i juz realised dat the 3 guys were all diffrent n da feelins i had for em were diffrent..with hafiz..what we had was just so well free i guess..both of us were too in2 each other i guess..but we werent afraid to show it..it was probably y least problematic relationship..he was the one dat made me feel like sum wanted me n sum1 was crazy about me..and treated me like i was the only thing dat mattered..but as quickly as it started..it ended dat quickly too..sophan..well it was a shock..he started out as a fren and after a few dates we got together..yet i didnt open up till the 1st month was over..there were problems but he was alwez patient with me..n he was alwez like the mature one who made sure i never gave up..he was like the sure thing in my life at the time..but durin the end..the cracks got bigger n the whole idham thingy ade it worse i guess..and i dont know what happend after..taufiq..he makes me feel like a gazillion diff thingys..sumtymz i just wanna spend every wakin moment with him..somehow just being in his arms alwez made me feel better..safe i guess..but sumtymz i juz wanna kick him cos he can be so errgh!!but im like dat too..i can be such a bitch n have the ability to drive him up the wall..ryt ryt..with taufiq i find myself feelin da way i felt with hafiz(bit more guarded though)..and a bit of how i felt with sophan..cos he does kinda make sure i semangat with skewl..with him i nvr wanted to be too emotionally commited but i tink i am..n i dunno wad i should do bout it..i dun wana b in sumthin dat seems fullproof yet suddenli due to sum mall thingy..the guy just gives up n leaves..dats the worst feelin to have n i dun wanna go though it again..

posted by naddz @ 11:13 AM 0 Comments