i love this song...saw it on mtv juz now...plus sum other nice songs...particularly hanson-penny & me...oh yeah...anna from the o.c. was in their video..shez so cute...prob gona cut my hair like her when it grows...n i oso saw ronan keating & leann rimes-last thing on my mind..kinda nice oso...went to fish & co yesterday..da one at somerset..had the seafood platter for 1..then ate cake at bakers inn...god im so full now..all danials faultlah..make me eat n eat..urgh..n know whats weird..that sum1 deleted me from friendster yesterday i tink..i dun get it..what did i do now??alah..im not gonna get upset or bothered anymore..whats the point...
Avril Lavigne-Don't Tell Me
You held my hand and walked me home I know
While you gave me that kiss it was something like this it made me go ooh ohh
You wiped my tears, got rid of all my fears, why did you have to go?
Guess it wasn't enough to take up some of my love cause you're so hard to trust
Did I not tell you that I'm not like that?
You're the one who gives it all away
Did you think that I was gonna give it up to you, this time?
Did you think that I was somethin I was gonna do and cry?
Don't try to tell me what to do,
Dont try to tell me what to say,
Your better off that way
Don't think that your charmin the fact that your arm is now around my neck
I got you in my pants I'll have to kick your ass and make you never forget
I'm gonna ask you to stop, thought I liked you a lot, but I'm really upset
Get out of my head get off of my bed yeah thats what I said
Did I not tell you that I'm not like that, you're the one who, throws it all away
Did you think that I was gonna give it up to you, this time?
Did you think that I was somethin I was gonna do and cry?
Don't try to tell me what to do,
Dont try to tell me what to say,
Your better off that way
This guilt trip that you put me on won't, mess me up but you're no wrong
Any thoughts of you and me have gone away
Did you think that I was gonna give it up to you, this time?
Did you think that I was somethin I was gonna do and cry?
Don't try to tell me what to do,
Dont try to tell me what to say,
Your better off that way
Better off that way
I'm better off alone anyway
juz watchd da oc..didnt get 2 njoy it thou...thanks to my overdose of sambal goreng..my bloodi stomachs in pain sia...urgh..remind me to take meds later..no not paracetamol thou...haha...n i saw troy in da mornin...wholalalalala...orlando orlando orlando...i couldnt take my eyes off the screen thou i didnt realli get most of it due to my gettin hypnotised by orlando..haha...n now theyre showin da trailer for harry potter...hrmph..boooring...who cares sia..hmm...i onli giv a damn bout orlando...god...i mentioned his name a lot here eyy ahaha..nwe..back to da movie...god..i ate so much popcorn n nachos i tot i wuz gonna die of too much cheese..dat haikel got so much stuff n he expected me to finish evrythin(next time u decided to go off cheese tell me!!!!)then again..who can not live without cheese...i used to hate it..but now...i even eat popcorn with cheese...that stuff is good...but onli like once or twice a monthlah..n that corndog thingy at tm suddenli isnt dat nice anymore...hmm..not like when i was in sec school...ahh those days...when i used to hang with da gerls at the beetle n da stairs(now fish n co)....n gossip bout nazir n how hot he was(da hell wuz i tinkin)...haha..then again..i actualli knew if he was at tm anot..haha..god tok bout pathetic rytt...i remember when i used to feel like i was gonna dia when i saw him ...even last year when i wuz in 23 with him...classic sia..got on da bus...saw sum mat starin n smilin at me n onli after like a min i realised.."holy crap its him"...haha...dat 1 funni sia...now hmm...never seen him for long time thou...wonder how mat he looks..haha..with da hair all..god im mean...haha..to think i wuz "in love" with him for like 5 years...ok ok enough of the nazie ...i wanna watch the oc now...(as in episode 26)...haha...20 more weeks till it airs in spore thou...all u poor suckers gotta wait that long....awwwww
i heard dis song on da o.c. ...the part when anna was leaving n seth went after her...god i was cryin like mad when it happend...its so sad to see sum1 u luv walk away from u...felt that way when i hafiz walkd away from me da day we broke up...at 51 there...i wuz so on da verge of cryin but i didnt.onli after he left then i cried...typical me...cennot show how weak i am ryt...ah well...i shuldnt tok bout it nimore...cos its so obvious he n i..never gonna happen..n dis time i realli mean it...cos well...ill xplain later...now i wanna hide in da toilet n cry...
Nada Surf-If you leave
if you leave, dont leave now
please dont take my heart away
promise me , just one more night
then we'll go our seperate ways
we always had time on our sides
now its fadin fast
every second, every moment
weve gotta make it last
i touch you once, i touch you twice
i wont let go at any price
i need you now like i needed you then
you always said we'd still be friends , someday
if you leave, i wont cry
i wont waste a single day
but if you leave, dont look back
i'll be runnin the other way
seven years went under the bridge
like time was standin still
heaven knows what happens now
you've gotta say you will
i touch you once, i touch u twice
i wont let go at any price
i need you now, like i needed u then
you always said we'd meet again, someday
i touch u once, i touch u twice
i wont let go at any price
i need you now, like i needed you then
u always said we'd meet again, someday
if you leave
if you leave
dont look back
i dont even know what to write now...hell i cant even see the screen properli...well...im not even gonna say what happend...i guess wad i juz found out from lyn is triggering this...but i dunno y im pissed at lin too...its like yeah he sed "i love u"...thats great..but y do u hev to analyse it...he sed it...whether he meant it or not..i duno...juz take it as he did n if u feel da same tell him too...n i dun need to noe whatever u guys do when well u noelah...its between u guys...hell i hevnt even gone to 2nd base with a guy...n never will so y da hell tell me...+ if u wanna do it do it...dun go back n forth bout this n dat when u noe u want to...n u tell the whole world u wan to...god...n evry1 arnd me is like alwez tellin me their probs n stuff...their crazy moms,crazy boyfrenz or girlfrenz..this that...i mean its not that i mind but sumtymz i wonder...after they dump all their baggage on me do they ever ask how i am...hmm no...hell do they care...or r they juz arnd for the free food n taxi rides...well sori but i guess ur gonna hev to find another person for that......that juz shows how important i m huh...seriousli i wish that i wuz outside when i passed out that sun...shuldv taken the pills b4 goin out sia...urgh...im damn screwed up sia..no1 noes y...i dun even noe...wish fathrul wuz arnd...he wuz da onli i culd tell my probs to n he actualli listens...n his advice is rough but it works...ah well...i guess ryt now its juz me...hrm..shuld b markin my moms papers now...2 stacks down 1 more to go...arg...but 1st must stop cryin haha...aniways...wuz tokn to lach juz now n tot of holdin a bbq durin june possibli on my bdae...come to tink of it i dun even wanna celebrate it nimore...juz stay home...if people remember theyll juz sms me to wish me n hug me when they see me...im done wishin for a fun bdae...i tink u onli get it once in ur lifetime..i had mine in sec 3...so thats it...this year i juz wanna get it done with n b 18...then i juz gotta save up enuf n once iv got like 5 k im outta this place..i noe my moms gonna leave me for canada once my gparents r gone so muz prepare myself...hey..ill juz work my ass off till iv got enuf to liv in australia...or better yet the us...live at NY or LA or sumthin..sumwher fun...sydney...dunnola...figure it out when iv got money...oh yeah..watched van helsing juz now..it rocked...hugh jackman was hot...n surprisinli kate bekinsale looked good too...i like her now..haha...n check out her bro in the show...bloodi hell..id do that guy anytime sia..he wuz hot...wad is it with me n dark dangerous guys...or geeky sarcastic guys...go figure...
argh..im confused yet again...dis time bout wad i wanna do bout my life...ok...cos of my screwed up back..theres prob a small chance i cen tahan my course ryt...but recentli cos of my mom wantin 2 move iv been tinkin of designs for my own room....n well i realised how much i love designin..esp interior design..kinda makes me regret not choosin dat course in the 1st place...n now i kinda wanna take up interior dsign courses but i dunno...my mom will kill me n im damn bloodi not confident of myself..dunnolah...i dunoe wad to do...i reali wan outta aerospace...but i dun wanna disppoint my mom...
hahaha..i wuz juz lookin throu all my photo albums n i realised...i never realli took fotoz with all da guys i wuz involved with haha....hmm..then i wuz tokkin 2 dan n he made me tell him all(n i mean all)da guys i wuz involved with....crush,short term, long term,fling,relationship,god noes wad,scandal...u name it evry single one of em...haha...so now i shall write em down...god this is mbarrasin....hmm ok ok...lets start...
(1)hmm...awal...that guy wuz well intrestin...cos we bickered ALOT...90% of da time we were quarrelin..yet after i left gongshang i heard he was kinda well sad...haha..intrestin eyy...n well he did reenter my life in da future(well get to that ltr)....
(2)...hmmm..had a erm crush on err...haha...hmm Herizal(yes that guy hu got stabbed with a penknife in anak metropolitan 1)..haha...we wer frenz n stuff n me likin him wuz very on n off but nothin realli happend...in sec sch we got close but i got closer to fathrul n well got bored of talkin 2 him....grew up i guess eyy
(3)haha...well...there were rumours that i liked izwan from my moms class..well i didnt like like him but hell he was super cute...got hell from the netball girls(yes i was in netball-WD)....n my moms class...but puhlees...he wuz too pretty...not my type...too damn quietlah...n please..im so not datin a guy prettier than me!!
(4)this guy i went to umrah with....saufee...was real cute n we hung out a lot esp when we were the onli 2 families stuck at jeddah...evry1 els went for a tour...we stayed at hotel to watch cartoon network n eat coco pops n stuff....hello...sick of swarma oredilah...but he was msian so duhh
ok..haha sec school...the boycrazy nadiah is unleashed...n that is not a good thing.....haha...
(5)...err...hafidz...yes as in senor...haha...lasted a whole of 2 days i tink...after sittin in malay class with him...god kill me
(6)johan...yes as in johan buckle(tink thats how u spell dat)...yes he had a gf...but he was juz so well cute haha...
n now we come to the ultimate one...da guy iv been crushin on for a realli reaali realli long time.......van damme,raspberry,six pack refrigerator(his nicknameslah)
(7)...Mohamed Nazir Bin Juma'at...wow...i 1St met him on 8/8/99 durin nat day cos he disturbed me...but after a few more encounters i wuz smittened...sure i got in2 a lota trouble with the minahs cos of him n stuff but good god was he HOT!!!the abs...the ass...the hair..the arms...wad els is there???hmm i oso dunno...haha..hell i tink if i saw him again ill still b wholalalalala....haha...damn...i wuz seriously crazi bout that dude...even thou i had many other 2 second crushes after that(all of em wuz juz so that i cen get over him)....ok enuf bout the Hot 1...next.....
(8)idham...well we were "together"..didnt werk...few months later he;z with ashedah..then he'z with shaikhah...n then a lot more came after that....didnt count as a boyfren
(9)rahmat...ah the 1st boyfren....he was great...he realli loved me...would do nithin for me...yet i felt nothin for him...we were together for almost 3 years n i felt nothin 4 da guy...y...i dunno...guess cos his family wuz fallin apart n i was da onli one hu understood n knew how he felt n how torn he was...esp when he had to up n leave for the uk...still luv him as a fren...keep in touch...but thats all...he'll still alwez b my 1st(boyfrenlah)...n still the one who wouldve realli made me feel like a princess but i could never b with him....
(10)shaiful...moms ex student...a lot older than me...dun even ask wad i was thinkin....i was upset over my gmom....he was alwez at da hospital...he was da 1 i could realli tok 2 n who wuz alwez there when i wuz gonna break down...but i alwez saw him as da older brother...so...nothin happend
(11)shafiee...hmm...not much actuali...he liked me...n juliana hated my guts cos he did...
(12)ammar...well saw him at da mrt n bus a couple of times...spoke too but nothin...n haha wanted 2 ask him out but haha..never did....
(13)eman....haha...here comes the eman n ammar story...yes i was a major bitch here...so sue me...niwez i started chattin at mirc n met eman...we started gettin realli realli close n when i found out one puasa nite that nazir wuz atachd i went to him....n i started to chat with him n ammar all in da Lps site...one nite i saw a convo btwn him n ammar wic shocked me...n after tokin 2 ammar n eman n ammar again..well eman told me the truth...he liked me...n well i liked ammar...but knew eman better n didnt tink ammar wuld everr like me...so i went for it n eman n i were together....but days ltr ammar admits he oso liked me (CRAPPP!)...n after that problems arise...esp after a hari raya outing where me n ammar wer so flirtin n eman wuz dumb enuf to not see it...well ammar n i had this connection...he just ..got me...n i him...he knew me better than even eman..n eman wuz well too boring...there wuz juz no chemistrylah..n well..in the end it caused me to break up with eman n well i tot mayb me n ammar could u noe..but haha ammar wuz atachd!!!...haha..so kablooi..
(14)awal again...well on 31st dec 2001...da x gps kids came to my place..n well aparantli me n awal had a well thing..so we started smsin n stuff but onli started to flirt sumwher in feb n march 2002...n it wuz nutz lah..nothin realli happend cos he was juz well weird n i ended up with zhofry insted....
n now comes my sorta 1st bf that i realli liked
(15)zhofry...well we sat next to each other in sec 3..kinda tot he was cute but thats all...he sat opp me(in our group) in sec 4...me lach,kenny n him...n well cos i wuz welfare ofc i had all their hp nums..inc his...nwe..we had dis angel mortal thingy for vals day dat year n haha i got him as mine so i knew bout his obsession with blink 182 so i got him stuff on them...haha..but when i wuz out buyin it...i smsd him...shaikhah got hyder n she didnt noe wad to get so i asked him....nwe we started to sms after that b what 1st started a silly fwded smses turned in2 advice for him with sum gerl he realli liked to advice for me bout awal...then wen da march hols started we started hevin sms marathons...from morn till like 3 am..n ahaha there wuz signs he myt like me...well shalin managed to get him to confess the nyt i had dinner with the belles(to her)..n on friday he finali told me(shockin i noe)..then wen skool started we started flirtin like silly idiots...it wuz onli a week ltr that he asked me n i sed yes...but after a month plus he started chattin to dis farhana gerl n we grew apart n well duh we broke up..hello he insulted star wars...that is just wrong!!...wuz upset for a while but got over it...too bad we're not frenz...he tot i started datin awal again after we broke up(well i sorta did kinda)...n he hated ihsans guts...oh yeah speak of da devil...
(16)ihsan..the worstest boyfren ever!!!!!he hit me..made me stop tokin 2 fathrul(of cos i still did)...tried to drug men hev sex with me..hmm...wad els eyy...never left me alone even when we were oredi over...cant tink of nithin werse...oooh..ohh n he cried each time i tried breakin it of....plus he wore tapered pants!!!!!!!!eew!!!!!!
(17)started hangin with fathrul n hilmi a lot...went for this camp with hilmi..kinda started fallin for him but nah....hello my best frenz best fren..u crazy ah..thats juz against the rules
(18)liked zafer...well tot he was cute....that wuz it
(19)..hafiz...m not gonna say nithin....but he was my 1st love...mayb i still hev feelins for him...i dunnolah....dun reali feel like tellin da stori now...but well...lets juz say he was the best...n i well messed it up....ah well..hope he is happy...thats wad matters...but i will say this..he wasnt that good of a kisser
(20)haha sagar...dated n stuff but nah...u noe y
(21)had a crush on akash...haha...i noe...esp after my stay at da hospital..but nah..hez too much of a bro to me n u noe y....
oh well..thats all of em..long ryt...haha..n funnili i wuz onli serious bout 1...haha...ah well who cares if it didnt werk out btwn me n hafiz..if its mean to b..then who knows
hello hello...how r u all wonderful beautiful...people...good?good...niwez...i wuz tinkin...wad da heck m i gonna do for my bdae....well i noe i wanna get realli realli drunk for 1 thing...who cares what other people say....i dun geddit...they all cen drink all they want whenever they want...n when i wanna drink for once in my bloodi life they dun wanna allow me...argh...alah...so what...im gonna prob spend it with da belles..or whats left of em...n prob get a bottle of wine or sumthin...il juz get hammered for that one day n never again...ooh ooh...n of coz id want the chocolate cake..hehe...oohla...esp if iv got a guy with me..heh heh...then screw the belles...dun need em to hev fun...who m i kidding...the whole world noes hu i realli wanna spend my bdae with...not that its gonna happen...ergh...here i tot this ntry i wont mention him at all...damn i wuz so wrong again...argh..hate being wrong i tell ya...screw it...iv got like 2 months 2 my bdae n i dun care what happens...i juz wanna hev loads of fun that day n hev a hangover the next day....n id better get it...cos my 16th bdae sucked to da max so this had better be good...17 ah well...it wuz borderline...minus ihsan ruining my bdae celebration at musical nyt..urgh...that loser..how i could stay with him that long oso i dunno...
