mentally unstable

i watchd the notebook(the whole thing) juz now n onli now did i realise that well..i watchd it with him(sophan)..still remember what a pain i was being juz cos i kept gettin bailed out on..n he actualli went to watch it with me even thou he wanted to go study..come to think of it i was a pain durin the whole relationship..n he tolerated t..ok i admit it..mayb i still hev feelings for him..i guess i miss the feeling of being in love..gosh was that what it was love??hell i thought i was over this..but judgin frm the crying..im so not..i mean i know that even if there was a chance i doubt ill wanna get back with him but i dunno..i miss him i guess..i miss the fights we had that started frm god knows what..i miss either one of us forsaking our egos n apologisin..i miss all the talks we used to have at fc n the not talkin too ;) ..i miss the way his hand would just find mine durin cp or cadm when the lecturer was ryt ther..or how he would stick his tongue out at me when i least xpect it n vice versa..how he used to call me weird n i would b like "thanks"..n id call him crazy n hed do the same..i miss him acting more adult than i am..n kickin me to my senses..sometimes i wish that things were still that way..but its been almost 4 months since it ended..guess at some point i gota realise that they will never be that way..and well im fine now..dead scared at the thought of falling for sum1 new tho i tink i...oh nvm..this time i kno wad im gettin myself in2..ultimately i know what will happen in the end..n ill do evrythin in my power not to fall..i dont wanna get hurt again..once is enough..

posted by naddz @ 8:12 PM 0 Comments

finishd class at 3 sumthin but went to do sum work @ the lib..we happend to fin arnd da same tym...but he went home oredi..but he knew dat i was dying of boredom..so i went to causeway point to meet him..he looked so damn cute..we walked arnd then hung out at this secluded(sorta) part of the mall...then at arnd 7 decided to catch a movie..we were havin a hard tym choosin between hitch,hide n seek n closer..alas after tossin a coin we settled on hide n seek...n well the show rocked...n bein with him rocks even more...i admit i did wanna kiss him..but no..i didnt..n he n i are so alike..he was predictin evrythin dat happend in da movie..the way i used to..n after that well at 1st i tot of goin hm strait..but we decided to hang out at the playground near the bus stop...talked n talked again..n he has this thing of alwez lookin in2 my eyes..damn i could get lost in his n i left onli at 1130...took a cab back..naturali i almost got hell but she was asleep..so luckie me..well all i can say s dammit....i walk around with a huge smile and nothin can make me upset..juz seeing him smiling at me can make my day..shit..i cannot like him i cannot like him...

posted by naddz @ 1:15 AM 0 Comments