mentally unstable: September 2006

Saturday, September 30, 2006

once u lose urself u have 2 choices
find the person u used to be
or lose that person completely
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
one tree hill is back
woohoo
my favourite couple(nate n haley)
tho now
i suddenly think brooke should leave lucas
why should she be with him
she gives him her heart but hez alwez taking her for granted
why should she stay with sum1 who somehow seems to alwez
want to help or pay attention or bother abt other people
then again which girl in the right mind would
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
george benard shaw once wrote..

"there are two tragedies in life..
one is to lose ur hearts desire..
the other is to gain it"..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ultimately tragedies happen..
what are u gna do? give up? quit?
when ur heart breaks u gta fight like hell to keep urself alive..
cos u are..
n that pain u feel..thats life..
the confusion n fear
dats there to remind u that somewhere out there
thers sumthin better
n its worth fightin for..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
as we strain to grasp the things we desire..
and the things that we think will make us happy..
like money, popularity, fame..
we ignore what truly matters..
the simple things
like friendship,family, love..
the things we probably already had..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
losing your hearts desire is tragic..
but gaining it is all u can hope for..
if having my hearts desire was tragic..
then give me tragedy..
cos i wouldnt give it back for the world

WORLD CUP QUALIFIERS
Spain VS Sweden

Goalkeepers: Iker Casillas (Real Madrid), Pepe Reina (Liverpool).

Defenders: Antonio Lopez (Atletico Madrid), Pablo Ibanez (Atletico Madrid), Carles Puyol (Barcelona), Juanito (Real Betis), Joan Capdevila (Deportivo Coruna), Sergio Ramos (Real Madrid)

Midfielders: Cesc Fabregas (Arsenal), Jose Antonio Reyes (Real Madrid), Andres Iniesta (Barcelona), Xavi (Barcelona), Luis Garcia (Liverpool), Xabi Alonso (Liverpool), David Albelda (Valencia), Miguel Angel Angulo (Valencia)

Forwards: Fernando Torres (Atletico Madrid), David Villa (Valencia)

so my favourite my players are in the team but notice some1 missing..

Raul Gonzales!!

he was dropped *sob*sob*

but i think Aragones made a good choice..

Raul is totally burnt out n the poor guy needs a rest..

Real use him 2 much n of all ppl they make him play with Ronaldo..

aka fatty..

he deserves to rest..

tho ill miss seeing him play..

oh well..ad least *Garcia* ,*Alonso* & *Reyes* is playin..

ok then..gonna go back to sleep now..

yawnz

Friday, September 29, 2006

if theres a foreign object on u
it can still be removed
n ull still look nice good
but if u dont n u uv got a defect..ntn can change that
provided to use cement or that filler dentists use for cavaties..
Wdf
Like I got no more drama to contend with
Its iritating u know
Falling for some1 but that person thinks of u as just a friend
And suddenly weeks later tat same person out of a sudden admit to having feelings for u
Lulubin goondu blacan
If all guys were like this I would just swear off guys totally
Hell I actually swore off guys after sophan
Hah banyak aku punyer swear off guys

This ashwin idiot
Keep on tellin ppl I invented the love quadrangle
Idiot
Where got quadrangle
At that time me n tf were together but havin probs again
I was into charles n kinda goin out with him
Sean was still not givin up n goin after me
N like duh I still had feelins for soppz
Esp since he n me were oryt again
Haha hexagon ah
Think that’s my worse

I actually liked the fact that taufiq started redatin sum1in march
Made me get to enjoy singledom
Tho im still single
wer like attached but not attached
got logic entah eh
I guess status wise were not attached
But after everything I guess it doesn matter
Cos it feels like we are a couple
I still refer to him as my ex
But every1 calls him my bf

it feels nice whenever we have those meaningful talks
like durin long bus rides
talkin bout the stupid mistakes we made in the past
esp dating mental patients
we each have our fair share of that eh
ihsan yuckkkkkkkk
n he said that he never once thought i would cheat on him
aparantly im not that kinda person
he is ryt cos I never actually went out with charles even though I liked him
but in a way I did kinda play him out once
i admit i did lie durin the whole azmil time
once ok I repeat once
that night of the FA cup final
we were supposed to hang out but it was my "last day" of work
was gona watch poseidon with the TRU staff
n well azmil was undecided on whether to go anot
in the end he decided to go
so

it was down to the 1 guy i really realli realli liked
n who kinda reminded me of my time with soppz
n the guy that hurt me time n time again
chose the 1st n lied to the other.
felt terrible though..
esp when fiq found out
im sorry about that
it was very not me
think I figured that he alwez saw me as the one who would alwez b arnd
so take me for granted
it was time for me to be un me
at least once

Actualli i feel like this can work out in the long run
But a part of me hopes he meets sum1 else
Someone he will eventualy settle down with
Does that sound crazy
I mean I do love him and whenever ash refers to him as my future husband
I actually smile to myself thinkin about it
But I already told myself im never getting married
The risk of goin throu what mother went throu
rather be alone than go throu that crap
The 1 thing iv lost faith in bsides my useless excuse for a father is marriage
Why do ppl get married when after small problems they start havin affairs or leave
I once thought that my parents divorce was crap but now things are worse
Its definitely better khalid left wen I was 10 months
Thinkin bout moms students who have to go through divorce
or parents leaving at such an age
its realli unfair to them
how could their parents be so uncaring
I don want to start a family only for it to fall apart

Besides I plan on leavin singapore by the time I turn 28
Doubt any guy would wanna leave singapore behind
Truthfully unless atok is still around
I don think theres a reason for me to stay here
Adam n mamat will b married n leadin their own lives
Matts goin back to manchester to stay wit eileen
Eli wants to return to canada too
So I guess ill have a partner in crime there

i gota get outa this place lah

Thursday, September 28, 2006

We went to geylang juz now
Was fun
Managed to find me a baju I love but will get it like this sat
ate popiah, satay n he had sop kambing n i half ate kway teow goreng
then
went to secret recipe for cake..
white choc macadamia
heaven sia..then took 10 home
cnt bliev hez 1 week away from him joinin army
cnt wait act
get to see him in army uniform
yumm

had fun 2nyt sweetie

i

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

I LOVE YOU MD TAUFIQ BIN JAILANI!!!

BIZKOT

Charles is super happy with me..since im an Army supporter..
Hehz..resident superman..wic he can be..bodywise..
Semangatlah he..carry arnd childhood piccie of himself in the "costume"..
Aerfi the best..condemn airport police..padahal he himself init..(male moron punya tempat apa)
Then theres Nur n his drivin in new zealand story..after 7 hours..
Can actualli look for problem with the sheep..haha..
My cuzzin lagi best..anjing2 company..haha infantry!!!
Wonder where abang faizal kena go..
him..prob kena
Security guard angkat pistol..
hahahaha..baiklah courtesy of grandad..

Speakin of security guard...saw shalin dis mornin…
N ashs reaction to her marriage was "shotgun ah??"
For the record no ok no shotgun..
Tho I notice sum shotgun marriages are better than non sg marriages..
Better they get married than "get abortion ah"..
Sure sumtymz its like the only choice..but ultimately use a damn condomlah..
should b cheaper than an abortion wad..
that 1 mistake of not usin 1
could ultimately gonna cost the life of an innocent
or cause a marriage..
again ash..hers isnt shot gun..if it was..shed have a baby right now..
why isit if a young couple gets married people think its shotgun..
grow up can..some people do settle down earli u kno
n well..i guess its good that she n jamie committed to each other eh..
too bad i couldnt make it to her wedding tho..

aaaaanyway

Champions League matches tonyt
Man U vs Benfica(go Benfica!!)
Arsenal vs Porto(neutral..Arse has Rosicky n Fabregas, Porto has Postiga!!!)
Lille vs AC Milan(duh..AC Milan!!!)

lookin forward to the nxt day...

Inter vs Bayern..
Liverpool vs Gala
Cheatsky opps i mean Chelsea vs Levski Sofia..a bit duh..Chelsea will win..
lets hope Barca kick their butts nxt meeting(sorry Soppz)

Sunday, September 24, 2006

obviously my favourites piccie has to be 1st..*muakz*

the 2005 squad..but wherez baros??

Carragher, Gerrard, Alonso & Reina..the fab 4

(",)
started off the morning juz lazing arnd...
met up with Mr Taufiq @ like 3...
we managed to finally get sum alone time after god knows how long..
tink things are back to normal...
or at least partly normal..
hell i tink even better than normal..

then headed to town..
met shai for a while..
bumped into lacheemi n teng2...
gosh i juz realised how much i miss lach...
met Shabina
finally found sum1 who loves One Tree Hill..
its so much better than OC..tho i still love OC lah.
juz too draggy sumtymz..
n shez also immune to Taufiqs lameness..haha..
went to taka n got a cake frm bengawan solo a whole cake!!
coz goon taufiq got like 1/4 a cake at secret recipe..
hung out @ the coffee club to celebrate their frenz bdae...

n after that we went to the AIRPORT!!!!
gosh i was so happy...
cen finally eat POPEYES!!!
i was like craving the mashed potato n the fries...
tink chicken wise..Arnolds is better..
but i love the mashd potato.. oh gosh..
now im cravin it again..arggh..

now tinkin of all the places i wanna eat at after i get my pay
1)top of the m ...that revolvin restaurant..
2)fullerton hotel chocolate buffet(shaikhah n eli..november we go ok)
3)sofra turkish restaurant
4)pasta fresca
5)cafe vienna..
6)fish n co..
gosh..i tink evry month 1 place cukup.if not bankrupt yo..

aaaaanyway..
adam fetched us n sent Shabina n him back..
was a really good day actualli..but wasted Harrison was sick..
i was thinkin abt the look lach gav when she saw him..
guess he was the last person shed xpect me to date..
then again..
in may he was the last person i wanted to date
he did ask me why i got so angry at him that time n was mentionin
how i broke the watch he gave me..
i was like.."u broke my heart so i broke the watch"..
till now i dunno y i got so super mad at him..
oh yeah..i kinda felt a difference durin that time we hung out..
esp my drunk episode..
n i actualli re-fell for him..
imagine my shock to suddenly learn he was goin out with sum1 else..
n the stuff he said also..cnt blame sum1 for gettin super angry..
it was like "i oredi promised myself not to fall for his crap n i did"
but that incident actually made me totally rid myself of him in a way..
n of course u noelah..

the whole azmil thing started..
wic altho lasted what 2-3 months..
n ntn major act happend..
but i liked the whole juz hangin out till super late
talkin..playin bowlin till 3 am..
watchn midnyt movies n
eatin popcorn n nachos till we got sic..
it was very unlike me n taufiq wen we started out..

think the shockin 1 was wen taufiq either suddenly called me..
n suddenly everything was messy again..
i was torn btwn the two..n even azmil had sum issues..
althou its a bit obvious who i chose in the end..
n yes im gna admit now..
wen azmil n i hung out the day of the world cup..
i did still sorta like him then..
but the 1 i had feelings for is duh..
The Cheif Insurance Agent..haha
think that was the most kecoh time..

i was angry yet i got angry wen i heard what happend..
like the whole adam, ct n moron situation..
only moron too penakut..
juz know how to threaten n talk big(n by threaten i mean threaten the girl)..
then again ns police...no wonderlah chicken loser..
(aerfi,harrison n sum other people are execptions)..
there is a reason why i tink police n airforce guys as the *urgh* group
the best is still the Army(wheeee!!!) n then SCDF..
n even Airforce ok..hell bcome pilot of a fighter plane..
that is like my dream..to bcome a fighter pilot.
n serve durin the war(too many war movies)
ok sidetrackkin oredi..
i tink..why get angry at the other guy...
shuldnt u get pissed at the person who went out with the guy..
unless the guy forced her into goin out ..
if the guy had like dragged her our kickin n screaming
n she was so against goin out with him..
then u got basis to get angry..
all is fair in love n war..

n people can tink for themselfves n make their own choice..
tho they should take responsibility for their actions
n not let sum1 else take the fall..
but feel no guilt at all..
if he did the same to me..i would kick his butt..
why blame the girl..when hez the cheatin ass..
but i tink hez worid that i would go out with other guys..
or meet another azmil..
tho i tink iv come to the point that even if i meet a really cute guy..
i wnt realli b bothered to see how it goes..im happy with what i have..(",)
n cmon..im not the type to be with sum1 n go out on dates with other guys or my ex..
2 the most juz hang out as frenz..

like i alwez said..our relationship isnt perfect..it never was..
but its all the crap we went throu that got us this far..
n after all the crap..sumhow we still find each other..
n why am i rambling...*yawn*..
now gonna go off track...

LIVERPOOL WON!!!HAH!!!
& here are sum piccies

me @ work

us in may...feels so long ago sia

yesterday..realise both pics i picked his shirts *lol*

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

after his "i never noticed how hot you are until now"comment

(& sum other fleeting comments)

iv been kinda tryn to avoid him..

sounds terrible ryt..

but i get get this vibelah..

the "this is goin to be another sean situation" vibe..

n i wanna avoid it at all cost

i mean if therez any guy from ESA i find remotely likeable(n dateable)..

its the cute "smile" guy from last thursday..

hez like a cross between Fish & Co dude n Taufiq(the 1 frm his frenster pic with salim)..

well a taller versionlah..

seems that he was tellin shahrul bout me(new girl)..

haha...

but @ ESA things spread like wildfire sia..

my fren frm Quality Management knows abt it..

n i didnt even say anithin

but i tink Toy's R Us worse..

b4 me n azmil even started hangin out..

most of the staff were already in the know..

but i like this whole ESA attachment..if not i'll alwez see dennis as this nerdy

part of the 3 stooges...

ok ok so he is kinda nerdy..but hes still talkable..

can talk bout soccer, music n normal stuff..

n speakin bout soccer..

im worid bout Liverpool..actualli im worid bout gerrard..

tink hez gna get burnt out..like raul..

n as happy as i am that Man U lost..

i stil rather see em on top than Chelsea..

n this is gonna sound so very random but i miss Jamie Redknapp..

n i miss my classmates.. :'(

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Sketches is over..

n now im sad

gonna miss all the rehearsals..

all the times we juz had fun doin stupid stuff..

the dancin, singin, catwalk, juz hangin n playin wolf or talkin..

anyway..

great job guys..so glad i got involved in this..

Yazid, Dhaniah, Nadirah & Shahdon..

u guys stole the show..brilliant actin n chemistry btwn characters..

Yihan...you will forever be my favourite "bitchy" doctor n of cos my fav Ides Character...

Shaiful..dun tink i wouldv even gotten involved if u hadnt askd me if i was..

glad u did..

Zul..my fellow Undercover cop n the most beng non beng iv ever met...

n most importantly my 2 compadres backstage..

Nurul n Faizal..

without u guys..the lightin n sound wouldv been haywire..

n not forgettin Ella..havin u arnd was fun tho it wouldv been so much better

if u had been arnd the entire time

n lastly..Taufiq..

thanks for believin in me..

n screaming for me..(",)..that goes to Nurul too..

it was an honour to be able to be involved in this production with u guys..

muahhzzzzz!!!

nice ryt..nuruls brilliant photography skills

his 2 girlfriends..

yaz,nadirah,dhaniah n yihan..

the erm pimps..haha

me, ikah n her fren(wasted u didn cme 4 8pmshw)

end of the day...ella, me n dhaniah..(tired faces)

Friday, September 15, 2006

I PASSED!!!

hell yeah!!!

Got A B+ for Human Factors sumore!!

haha!!

after february..buhbyee NGEE ANN POLYTECHNIC!!!

thank you lecturers for all the last minute tutoring

thank u ashwin for all the rides to skewl..

thank u god for everythin!!..

finally..out of poly..

into the workforce...woohoo!!!

went for a tour of the engine assembly cell juz now..

darn kewlness..

now im not so sure of what i wanna do..

i love the prospect of bein an engine assembly technician..

but i wanna work in the induction area..

aka take apart the engine..

arrgh..

logu says i shuld pursue a mechanical engin degree

n then take masters in metallurgy..

thing is i wanna be a mechanic...

one of the labour people..

not technician in the office..sure its less stress..

n get paid more if i work there..but no challenge..

i actually might consider applyin for that intern thingy @ ESA..

had the official openin of our intergral employee centre...aka

the new canteenlah...got auditorium n stuff..

got free food..not bad actualli..the fish n chips..

sat in the dinner n dance..

but i think the only dinner n dance i ever wanna go for is the NP1..

n TRU 1..tho i missed that oredilah..blergh

results comin out in less than 8 hours..excited..more like scaredlah..

pls pls pls lemme pass..then buhbye ngee ann poly..sad but

YAY!!

rehearsal was pretty orait..set up the room..

managed go throu some parts..

fingers crossed..

n m pretty glad my frenz r cmin..esp those i havnt seen for weeks/months..

n in spite of everything..

taufiq's ryt

i tink that whatever happend btwn us

btwn the march n now period has made us closer..

no we're not the "perfect couple"..

i bet sum people see us like how sum view ikah n yat's relationship..

but just like iv alwez supported ikahs descision to be with yat
(cos he is a good guy)..

think my choice to b with taufiq shuld be my choice..

when doubts are concerned..i think both of us have our share of em..

but heck that..i Love u too..

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

im gonna be part of the audit team..

how cool is that..

no more filing invoices..hah..

gonna be down at the workship all day long..

no starin at a computer!!

no sleeping!!

thank you ESA!!

n thank you Logu n Mr Goh..

gettin free food 2mr ..

dunno y also..

sumthin to do with the employee whatever whatever..

i dont care..free fish n chips..*wheeee*

like sophan says..dont bother..

why do i care what others think..

plus others have seen the truth for themselves..

its very intresting anyway..

n no..i wont stoop so low..

usin peoples past mistakes against em..

thats just so "moron"..

yeah as in abdul khalid abdullah..my ass of a father..

well i wont b surprised if 5 years from now..

hez still teachin at east view pri..

n got another kid..n still no degree..

n if he thinks i cn get married without him agreeing..puhleezlah..

i dont owe him anythin..

thank god i didnt let him pay for poly..

hell prob make me pay him back with more intrest..

then again..with those 3 brats..he'll need all the money he can get..

pity my stepmom actualli..

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

went jb today with gdad..

met up with pak long malik n abng mahfiz..

they culdnt recognise me siah..haha..

prob cos im half the size i was last time wen i was in pri sch eh..haha..

didnt get a chance to go ct square thou..

wanna get the adidas jacket dammit..

n my secret recipe mudpie*swoom*

nvm..nxt week..next week..

tooth drivin me bonkers now..

kinda whacked on my meds..

can u blame me..

got 5 diff types of meds..

yawn..goin back to ESA 2mr..

yippie..

n azrul is tryn to set me up with his fren..

plzla..mayb i shuld start dating girls again..

shaikhah..where art thou shaikhah(its the meds talking)..

Monday, September 11, 2006

took gdad to cgh juz now..

his heart is stable thank god..

so hernia operation is akan datang..

as for my choice to bcome a dnt teacher or a tso..hez so bhind me..

but im still gonna see if ESA will allow me to work @ the workshop area..

theres still SIAEC or SAESL..

hell i juz wanna not sit in a bloody office all day..

i missed minority report..thanks to dear mother..

talked abt her appointment n how she had to do ranking..

kinda sucks..i mean its good that shez a HOD now..

but shez workin 12 hour days..n cmin home tired..

so much for not bein too bogged down by work huh..

found out why she was unhappy with me..

but after the whole idham n syafiq wantin to beat me up incident..

i tink i can take care of myself..

actually..that was pretty kewl sia..2 guys wanting to beat me up..

well at least they had the balls to confront me

eh..dont tell my mother lah..

she'll be all.."u got into a fight n didnt tell me"..

hahaha..mati..

n yes sophan..as in that idham..

think its funny how people take a small thing n make it into a gigantic 1..

like say 1 insignificant thing..suddenli snowballs into a humongous 1..

so drama one..haha..how ironicle..

but mother funnylah..overeact onli..

then suddenli change topic..showed me the thai silk for my raya bju..

n its green!!!..kinda turquoise like..but its exactli like 1 of hers...

kewl..can match with her..yahoo..

now kena design the baju..

prob gna b standard kebaya with chinese button thingy..

or sumthin like my pink one..

tho last time i wore it..

i suposedly looked damn fat lah..

TF lah bodoh..got peevd wen he heard it

hell even i knew i was fat then..

but heck..im 46kg n im happee..ok ok..so i wanna b back @ my 40kg..

but if that happens..whats gonna happen to my jeans..

n the last time i even mentioned 40kg sophan almost kicked my ass..

haha cute ryt..

Zorro..(",)

so i wrote 1 long post b4 dis bout erm sophan..

kinda decided to take it away..

its about time i locked those memories away..

they are just memories..

im with taufiq now..

n well..its pretty stupid if i get squinky that he wrote abt the gal he dated..

durin the time he dated her..

n here i am..writing abt my ex bf..the 1st guy i fell in love with..

almost 2 years since the day we broke up..

i cnt bliev its been that long..

feels like juz yesterday that i was kinda dating taufiq juz to get over soppz..

n now..there actually are feelings involved..i guess..

these things are juz so darn complcated..

n iv got to stop even slightly want taufiq to be how soppz was..

theyre both different..so its not wrong to love em both diff ryt..

like taufiq told me he loved me but he wasnt like crazy bout me..

aka like he was over a certain sum1..

but as for how soppz..we were both crazy n in love with each other..

thats the difference...

argh..b4 i start tellin 1 long story abt soppz n me id better change topic..

has rehearsal today..n it was ok..1st run was crap cos of loadsa mistakes..

n iv been given yet another role..

aiyoyo..

haha..cnt bliev were 1 week away from the big day..

shai emphasised that black box doesnt mean kena wear black..haha..duhhhh..

he didnt get to stay for the rehearsal tho..

i suggested he had his 21st bdae @ MCDOnalds..

hehz...im so 5 years old..

finally!!finally i ate sumthin other than asam, watermelon n papaya..

i officially stopped eatin @ 230pm on the 8th n started eaatin again at 915pm on the 10th..

tink 2nd longest time i went without food siah..

after rehearsals..yaz, yihan, taufiq, dhaniah n her bf, zul n the other zul

played the wolf game..

me n zul(dhan) were the wolf first..n in the end..i killed him off..

n faizal made the mistake of shakin hands with me..so in the end..i aka the wolf..won..

muahahahaha..tho 2nd time faizal killed me..n i managed to help dhan n zul kill him off..

hehe..evil ryt..had to go off tho..mother smsd me being well..mother..

"im not too happy with ur involvement with the play"..

arrgh..mati aku.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

im happy..so sue me

hellew hellew..

finally the wound doesnt give me soo much hell..

thanks to the ice pack n endless supply of gauze..

had rehearsal today..

something like dat..nabella didnt come n dhan came late while taufiq went off earli..

but we did manage to watch "closer to your heart"..

that was 1 fantastic musical..dhan, aishah, shahdon n yihan have really good voices..

while yazid now wants a musical abt his life made..haha

soon man soon..

i was walkin arnd..ice pack on my face..

zuls gf tot i had mumps..haha..the horror..

the funnest was wen taufiq went off(with the keys to the room).

n shaiful, yazid n yihan decided to dance to ricky martins "livin la vida loca"..

i videotaped it(thank u my darling hp aka luis)

it ended with yazid outdancin shai..

hmm.mayb those 2 shuld join dat dance thingy eh...muahahaha..

so far only managed to get ppl like shahree, khidir, ika n lyn to go..

the rest still dunno wic timeslot to go for..

makes me wanna juz assign it to em..haha..

hope my classmates can come..tho i tink its pretty far for sum of em..

try oryt guys..

even msgd my aunt..dont want her to inform father though..

why shuld i have to see his ugly rat face..no thanks ah..

even if he paid 10 bucks..no way..

rather have my gdad, aunts n my cuzzins(i actually miss em) there..

well minus my "u shouldve taken up nursing not engineering" uncle..

lucky thing im not at nyp..kena see his face..eerrrgh..

wanna ask mother to go..but i dunno..

i remember her reaction to ides..n i malas to listen to her..

no wonder i rarely watch plays n musicals with her anymore..

last one was mamamia..or sumthin else..

i forgot sia..

i only remember that one at Esplanade..but that i went with the LPS teachers n taufiq..

entah..

cant even remember which play n musical i loved most..

ok ultimate is still Les Miserables..

Chang n Eng was really good too..

so was the Golden Rain n Hailstones show..

loved Joseph n The Technicolour dreamcoat too..

juz saw all the programmes..

damn my moms seen a lot sia..i cant even remember if i watched Oliver anot..

mayb i shuld start catchin worth it shows again..

tho i tink i shuld prob cont dreaming till iv actualli got money..

speakin of money..

i soo wanna eat ice cream now..

the strawberry cheesecake haagen daaz is like calling me..

i swear..by next sunday..i wanna eat @ SWENSENS!!

i want my calamari, almond crusted lamb chops/ chili fish pasta

&

frosted chocolate malt with coco pops on it..

arrgh..crap..why did i remove my tooth again??

think the last time i ate was 215 yesterday..unless u count the medication i just took..

got myself a cadbury flake ice cream n stuffed it in the freezer..

that will be my reward on wed..after the stiches are out..

tho dunno how im gna survive not eating a single thing till then..

yes i wanna eat..but pain lah..

u send me for surgery can..but after cutting up my gums..drilling part of my teeth

yes i actualli heard n felt the drilling..

and stitching my gums(it looks like a Y)..

u cant tell me that i cant eat spicy foods..that i gota eat soft(aka bubur) food..

n worst..i cant drink PEPSI!!..

thats as simple as telling me juz drink plain water n no food..

ok fine so mayb ill eat bread..(time to stock up on bojour chocolate n that banana walnut bread)

n no hot drinks..so no hot chocolate for me*SOB SOB*

n know whats worse...i cant chew on ICE!!(i cen see taufiq n eli smiling while readin this)..

i feel like a part of my soul has been taken away from me..

i feel so lost..n sad..n melancholic..

hahaha..n all bcos of ice..can die ryt me..

me & him(with shai in the background)

..xplains the laughin

finally!!channel 5 gonna show prison break..

woohoo!!Wentworth Miller!!

YUMMY!!!

n yup i was talkin abt shalin n her entourage in my last post..

since they were a big part of my sec sch life..

dnt tink sayin how i feel is called an attack..

tink attack is when u inentionally use sumthin 2 get at sum1..

like when people use ur past mistakes 2 take a dig @ u..

entah..my english isnt as gd as it used 2 b

oh well..im juz an aerospace engineerin poly kid..

all i know is turbines, flight mechanics n aircraft systems..

n bsides..theyre so secondary sch..

so dont bother dont bother..

thank goodness ill end up workin with guys..no drama..

Friday, September 08, 2006

day started off great..cos i woke up at 730!!!

dear mother sent me to work..

spent the whole time doin the damn invoice n qoute thingy..

cabotted @ 1230 for lunch..first time i actually ate sumthin @ the cafeteria..

but i hate the lining up..

so got vegetarian kway teow..

ashwin ate like half of it thou..

mother then fetched me n made me like eat again @ home..

cos she knows i wnt wanna eat at all after the surgery was over..

the procedure didnt hurt actually..

tho the doc was sayin how brave i was being cos not once did i complain of pain..

tho now i wanna punch out sum1..

taufiq came over arnd 4-ish..

he got me the caramel pretzel thingy..but i cant eat it..:'(..

tho he promised me 1 after my wound heals...*yay*..

heal wound..HEAL!!!

was supposed to go for the LPS campfire n b a judge

i so wanted to go..but mom felt i needed rest..

mayb i shuld help out for the PPIS camp again..

tho not having hilmi with me will b diff..

arrgh!!!attachment rocks balls..

hez been really great..

n im so proud of him..

for the person hez become..

n ok we may not have had the best relationship..

it was totally rocky n erm soap opera-e..

but i tink everything dats happend has made us grow n change..

n i like where we are now..

some might see me as the dol who is still with him..god knows y..

they prob think im a total loser..

some may be like "typical nadiah..told u ud end up with him again"..

hell i dont care..

tf may be so well tf..but hez a good guy..

to those who understand n think that this may juz work out(ika, eli)..thanks..

so glad iv got friends like u guys..

hell if shalin knew all this..she'll prob be so well shalin(u knowlah ika)..

thank god im not friends with such a judmental n miss high n mighty her..

cannot tahan these kinda ppl..

whenever they do certain things its fine..they dont apologize for their mistakes..

but when sum1 else does the same or mayb sumthin not as terrible..

n when they get offended over the smallest thing..

then constantly attack the other person..

its like..get over urselflah..

good thing i cut myself free from the shalin gang..

but like mom said..dont waste energy on em..

all they want is attention..

a i love the times when things are great btwn us..

like yesterday..

the talk we had was really nice..

n some of the things i heard were pretty shockin...

in a good way i mean..

wont go into details..

but its weird..i didnt knowlah that natalie in the play is suposedly me..

haha..the sarcasm..talkin to danial but never lookin at him..

n her soft heartedness after all the crap..

no wonder tf said that i would make a gd natalie..

but i tink dhaniah is perfect as nat..

and

as much as the whole post

me gtn drunk n him takin care of me thingy made me pissed..

weird that that happening that changed things..

he said that 1 thing abt me is that when i bitchy..

its bcos im juz tryn to get back @ sum1 for pissing me off..

or bcos im moody or angry..

not bcos im naturally a bitch..

haha..then again..isnt that bad??

ikah n ashwin n eli all think that we'll so end up married..haha..

ash especially..damn weirdlah they all..
somehow..me n tf married??hell..me married??

while most girls dream of marriage..im so not 1 of em..

went for ycp today..tho ended up takda rehearsal cos the leads werent arnd..

juz experimented with sum scenes n then listend to hu kena booted outta spore idol..

phew..jonathan is still in..yahoo!!!

nurul n i wanna try out for dance fever for fun..

haha..dont ask..

me n him standard..had our stupid fights n urgh moments..

n he was like..

"its these times that the(sometimes it takes all my strength to talk to u)is derived from"..

haha..whoops..i guess i cen be bad with my moods n stuff..

ate at "techno" after that..

now that was even funner..

talkd bout loadsa stuff..

like how some people may seem a certain way..

but in truth they just 2 faced sobs..

sum people may not be flawless with a snow white overmade up face but ultimately its the

inside that matters..

no point being beautiful when ur inside is the total opposite..

wise words from both my mother n tf..

it was funnylah..what we found out..

n how yazid was disturbin yihan bout it..

yet i made him realise that he was also included as it involved all the ycp guys..

haha..poor guys..mustav gotten a shock when tf told em lah..

2mr..is my operation..kinda scared but glad im gettin it over n done with..

moms payin for most of it..n tf gave me sum money(im so payin u back!!)

come to think of it..thank god my assface father cheated on mom..

if not she wouldnt have gotten her degree n her masters..unlike him..

stuck with 3 brats(me not included)..and not goin anywhere..

no wonder maintanence payments alwez late..

cant wait to grad..get a job n save..insyallah mom n gdad will get to enjoy..

gdad is gettin better insyallah..mayb 1 day can take him to a EPL match..

haha..leeds vs liverpool mayb..

why the hell leeds..dunno..

mayb cos the 1 i love loves em..

shut it eli..im finally admitting it ok..

i love the goon..

Thursday, September 07, 2006

me in my safety goggles....muahahahaha

the two jagung idiots...oficially my fav sushi buddies..

this is my fav pic of us...taken like 2 days b4 his bdae..check out the hair!!...haha..

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

finalli did work today...

forgot to change into normal shoes tho..wore my safety boots home..

hey theyre good if i wanna kick people(thats a warning eli)

was talkin 2 nat n she was tellin me abt the whole matt/danny/rahmat thingy..

i gta admit im pissed at herlah..

shez dating both danny n rahmat..

n of all people..to kiss..she had to kiss matt!!!

i mean..which slut kisses her ex husband when shez dating 2 guys..

claims to be in love with 1 guy but still sees the other n tells him she wants to be with him..

oh wait..i know 1..thank god my cuz saw right through her..

oh well..i guess its juz a kiss..

itll b worse if she slept with matt..

then id kick her damn butt..

urgh..

n danny..i will kick ur asslah!!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

my wisdom tooth is iritatin i tell ya..

anyway..

missed ycp sun..urgh..my momlah..all her fault..

but thank god i missed..

altho didn get 2 see shai..

nvm..

got nxt sat..

kinda proud of taufiq..

hes doin a pretty gd job..

n i love how cute dhaniah n yazid look together..

tho i tink he shuld cut sum lines...

sum ppl might think its a tribute to them..

hah..

if i hadnt eaten at mezebar juz now i would puke out the tapas..

remember guys(aka lyn,eli n ikah)..

tell me wic days u wanna watch oki..

i juz started atachment...n i love it..

posted to the Production Control Dept..

tho i so wanna b in the Repairs n Services Dept..

get to do all the fun stufff..

Welding, milling, driling...n tURNING!!

gosh i miss sec sch lah..

dnt classes..

esp practicals..loved all the times get to work on the materials..

esp machine lathe..

darn kewl..

n the guys workin there like never see girl b4..

tho my cuz sed..if i went to SIAEC its the same thing..haha

nvm..my job is pretty fun..n its near the canteen too..hehz..

will update more this weekend..kinda tired..

Name: naddz

Location: Singapore

really really loud,weird,a bit mentally unbalanced,retarded @ times,crazy all the time and moody occasionally..but other than that im tahanable..bein sarcastic is wad i do best(aside from drivin every1 crazee with my moods)....love my family & frenz(even those i threaten to castrate)...and of course my locabelles..without em id b well a gone case minah(yuckk i know)..oh yeah n i absoluteli luuurve pina colada(from OJ)that thing is like....woosh baby..if iv got it..bah who needs guys man..but no no dun get me rong..i still love my boyfren(sssh dun tell him..later he yaya papaya)..hez one of the few rare peepz dat actualli can tolerate my nonsense(well most of the time)

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mentally unstable