THE FUNDAMENTALS OF LUV
Think back to the day when you first laid eyes on her.
You found yourself charmed by the way she talks, the way she dresses herself to show off her best features and the way she embraces life with her laughter.
It seemed as if a mysterious "chemistry effect" has suddenly developed to draw you closer to her.
You two then began to meet regularly, and you discover more things that you admire about her. Her clever ideas, her healthy values and the way she stands up for you when others doubt you. You find yourself thinking of her not just as a normal friend, but a very good friend.
It is often during this period that a boy and a gal will start thinking of bringing their friendship to another level.
After all, the kind of wonderful experience you have between each other can only become even better if it develops into a romantic relationship.
In other words, the feeling is really unique - no one else seems able to replace her in your heart. So both of you agree to go steady and work even harder on the relationship.
You "graduate" to become a couple, and are the envy of the sea of singles.
When You Forget The Fundamentals
However, at some point in your relationship, you forgot how it all began.
You start to take your partner for granted.
Why can't she laugh in a more ladylike manner?
Why doesn't she dress herself more trendily?
Why must she assert her views and point out your silly mistakes?
Is she really the one for you?
To be fair to yourself and to her, take some time to reflect on your "love memory".
The "love memory" contains all the reasons that you fell in love with her right from Day One.
It contains rarely accessed snippets of how your life has changed since meeting and loving her. Pre-steady days, did you heap compliments on her for the brave way she spoke her mind on bullies and snobs? You probably did.
Did you like her unusual fashion sense that makes her stand out from the crowd?
Right-o. So why are you criticising or finding fault with her now that she is your girlfriend? Because you have forgotten the fundamentals of love, like so many of us.
You have forgotten the reasons you admired her during the friendship phase.
Instead, once you went steady, you put your "love memory" in cold storage.
As her boyfriend, you take up a new set of demands and expectations about her.
These new ideas are not necessarily better; they could put your relationship at risk.
The Secret Of Strong Relationships
A healthy relationship, like learning to walk properly, follows a step-by-step development.
You can't possibly become part of a couple if you aren't friends in the first place.
Ok, I know some of us break the rule and plunge straight into whirlwind courtship, but how many of those couples can go the distance?
Couplehood works well when there is something you like about her (and vice versa), and I'm not referring to merely the physical aspects.
So whenever your relationship hits a rocky path, don't give up without checking on your "love memory".
Rediscover the reasons why you fell in love with her, and watch your relationship flourish with a newfound vigour.
"Follow the rule of love and enjoy it, as loving someone is a wonderful and sweet experience."
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tear...
ok so iv not been bloggin for quite sum tym oredi..sorie..been a bit da busy..so much crap(good n bad) like for xample the whole sms frm hafiz thingy..haha..dat was damn funnilah..got heart attack for like 3 seconds..then theres me losin my baby..aka...my handphone..got a new one the next day..(thanx abang adam)..other than that..my frenz juz celebrated their birthdays..Aerfi turned 21 yesterday..zhofry turned 19 yesterday oso...n Lyn turned 20 todayy..so HAPPY BIRTHDAYYY!!!ok now thats outta the way..i dunno y im so happy..mayb its cos i finnalli changed my blog template..*whee*..oh..n i wanna apply fot the jpsds thingy..but this time for army...artillery..remember i applied dat tym n got interview but surayah dun let..well this time im 18..so hah!!muzt be watchin black hawk down..damn that show rocked..no not juz cos of the hot hot hot..did i mention hot guys in uniform...*wholalalala*..josh,eric bana(juz realised how hot he was),orlando..n dat soldier who died..still dunno da name..dat movie really opened up my eyes to the terror n violence goin on in the areas america doesnt deem fit enough to care about..rwanda,africa..y not help the people in these countries?the women there are being abused..captured..n raped by numerous men..n later abandoned by their husbands..left to fend for themselves..n the violence there is terrible..kids are forced to watch their parents get beat up..their moms gettin raped..hell sumtymz these savages even force the children to rape their own mothers..how sick is that..yet america focuses on iraq..yalah...iraq got oil what..y bother helpin these african countries...what can they offer..screw them..screw that ass n lame xcuse of a leader they have..yikes..when did i turn this fierce haha..*shut up hilmi*..aww..dun merajok..u know i love u..*muakhzz*..haha..well i was earli today..realli earli..met adam on da train..n took da shutle bus..but guess wad..no class!!!stupid!!!haha..nadiah remember..blurr queen..hehz..got SOM viva later..i know nothing..good right..ok then..i better play attention in class..hehz..update wen i can be bothered..love u all..esp u...*kiss*kiss*spank*..
A gal won't cry easily, except in front of the person who she love the most, she becomes weak. A gal won't cry easily, only when she love you the most, she put down her ego. Guys, if a gal cried bcoz of you, please hold her hands firmly, she's the one who would stay with you for the rest of your life. Guys, if a gal cried bcoz of you, please don't give her up, maybe bcoz of your decision, you ruin her life.
i gonna kill dan!!!!y muz u say all that..now arggh!!!i dun wanna relike him again sia...over that chapter of my life long ago!!!
i lost my phone!!!can i please cry...i really really wanna call him cos i donno wad to do or arggh!!shit..i feel so crap..can i jus down a million pills n die
ok update...got flowers frm god knows who at the atrium..went out with shafie..he got me flowers too..had fun but well i felt nothin for him..i mean..remember how the 1st time i met hafiz we juz clicked..at 1st it was weird..for like da 1st 10 minutes..wen we watchd indiana jones..it was cool..we were even sittin like a couple..n like after that evrythin just fell in2 place..it just felt so right u kno..n i felt comfortable with him..not self concious bout my scar or wad im wearin or nithn..but with shafie..i was like that..the awkwardness lasted till arnd 6 40..then we juz talked n talked till arnd 8plus..then went to eat n hung out at delifrance..he paid(first time i tink i never paid for a thing)..i dunno..i mean mayb hez just another sagar..its not that hez not likable..but i just dun feel nithin..no chemistry nothin..tinkin bout it..well mayb its just like when i was tryn to get over hafiz...took me months to meet sum1 i actualli lke more than hafiz..mayb its da same thing now..i need time to heal..its just that i dont want time..i just want everything to b one way...either he n e work things out*hah* or i find sum1 better..*not gona happen*..oh hell..mayb i shuld just turn dyke..n oh yeah he ignored my existance juz now at 51..i realli wanted to say sumthin to him..but whats the point..he didnt even so much as look at me..well..like the sayin goes..only a fool would love sum1 n not expect nothin in return..n im the biggest fool..what else is new huh..
ok..so cant b bothered to update actualli..juz wanna wish evry1 happy valentines day..hope u enjoy urself with ur significant others...n ur frenz(for those who are single like me)...as for me..i shall b watchin constantine @ bugis..i tink..feel like hangin at istana park or sumthin..then again..scratch dat idea..i just wish..oh forget it..im done wishin n hopin..love stinks
well..tonyt sucked..it was fun..i loved hangin with them..but being arnd them..n their guys..i juz felt so outta place..n well shafie was supposed to join us but the guy juz fin soccer n was tired so better he never come..n well i never tot.."wad if shafie was here"..i was like "i wish sophan was here..i miss him"..n wen jamie wanted to harass that poor kitty..i started tinkin bout all the times he used to harass cats at the park..crap..its started again..i wanna give shafie a chance..but i was thinkin..if im thinkin about sophan..then im definitely not thinkin bout shafie ryt..i dunno..shalin n lach both sed i shuld giv it a shot n they tink shafie is real cute wic he is..but i dunno..i still have feelins for sophan n i dunno if i can ever forget him n how i feel..i just..oh stop it..i told myself im not gona b this way..its stupid..im stupid..i just want out..
Happy Birthday Muhamad Fathrulrahman Bin Fazakir!!!!!ur 19 now...365 more days till ur no longer a teenager..haha..i still love ya niwe..*muakhzz*
great...gona go with da girls n their boyfrenz for dinner tomorow nyt..how great huh..i wanna ask him but nah..whats da point..n well iv decided not to even try nimore..i dont even wanna think about it..it just still hurts..oh well..juz like seth..ill b the third wheel..mayb next year will b diffrent..i hope..i dun even wana tink nimore..this feelin sucks..oh well..
hey lyn..thanx a lot..but im sure both re just being egoistical guys n in no way care about me..im done with all this..
ill update with what i did today..as for now..i just wanna go out
being strong is like imposible for me now..i feel like givin up on everythin..myself..my life..everything..im so not coping with skewl..i know im gonna fail..i just feel like quittin now..iv got no1 to turn to..everyone else either has their own problems or are just realli happy n i cant bring myself to even b arnd them..y do u tink i use every opportunity i get to not meet shalin n gang..them with thier picture perfect relationships..n me..the wreck who cant even stay in one over 4 months..i wish i could just end it now..i kno im too chicken to do nithin drastic..i cant deal with everythin on my own..i would go to him but now..i doubt it..the only thing i can do is cry..thats all i do..n dat oso i dun wan people to see..i cant do this..i cant handle this..i just cant anyore..i want it to stop..everythin to stop..theres only one way that iv tried dat can stop it..n well dis time they cant discover it till mornin..
before this....
hilmi..can i kill u please..why must u alwez do this to me..look sure i had hope that me n him will get back together but now..hope of saving wadever frenship we had is gone..its like im smsin a stranger now..and well i was handlin it fine..till u came along..u just had to make me remember ryt..juz had to show me the pictures..just leave it ok..n dun say im forcin myself to like shafie..im not..its time for me to have a life..i cant keep dwelling on the past n holdin on for sumthin thats oredi gone..please..iv accepted this already..i juz want the pain to fade away..along with the memories..dun get me rong..i dun wana hev da memories cos well rememberin hurts..just reminds me of what i lost..like jus now..went to the airport n saw the skytrain..n suddenli i went from happy to upset n moody..my mom was sayin dat she told uncle khiong how proud she is of me that im dealing with the breakup fine..yeah ryt..what she doesnt know doesnt matter..hell the only person i actualli knows how i realli realli feel is aerfi..n he doesnt even kno dat much..u guys kno cos of well this blog..i cant talk to shalin or the girls cos theyre well theyv got guys..n theyv lasted years..n all they will say is that ill b fine or ill find sum1 better or he doesnt dserve me..its the typical lines..n they dont work..talkin to matt or syaril is useless cos they will try to steer me to dan n rahmat..no way..shit..y must i start rememberin all my times with him..i hate havin such a good memory..it just makes everything harder..hilmi..i know u want me to be happy..but cmon..u and i both know everythin is obvious..pointless for me to hang on when hez already walked away..and well u kno my luck..it never works out for me..i guess now i know what it feels like to deserve being dumped..n well like luke said..the sooner u realise its never gonna go back to the way it was..the sooner u can let go..
ok weird..iv decided to give shafie a chance..i mean..da guy n me hev been in cont for almost 2 years..n hez nice n realli funni n well actualli hez a lot like cohen..so hell y not..like they sed..u never kno ryt..so juz now he suddenli smsd me at what 6 sumthin askin me if i was at skewl..i woke up at like 8 so onli smsd him then..n well after a while he asked me out this week or nxt..n well in da evenin we smsd again n the loon jokinli asked me out dat nyt..shockd me sia..gud thing he was jokin..but he did ask me out on valentines day..n well..i myt say yes..gonna see wad happenz with me n zal thou..cant help bein drawn to himlah..hez got the whole brooding thing goin on n he just conveys everything with this look..n god his eyes...can get lost in them forever...oh god nad..in sum states its wrong for u to feel this way bout sum1 who has the same great grandmother as u..haha..but technicalli its oryt..cos hez on my mums side but for him its a prob..cos im on his dads side..oh god wad am i sayin sia..but hey..back to shafie..i tried tinkin of reasons not to like him but well there arent any reasons..hez a nice guy..hez cute(mayb a tad skinny but hey remember zhofry,ihsan,irfan)..funny,frenz with both hari n aaron who im frenz with too..n hez not like the typical guys i date..u kno da baggy clothes kind..n well he has a job aka i dun hevto pay for almost everythin..hez older than me by more than a few months..n ok iv alwez had this thing that if i was with a guy i kinda like it if we sms or talk or communicate in any way..like with man it was phone calls,zhof..the sms marathons..hafiz sms marathons n msn n sumtymz both at da same tym haha n well we were together almost every wakin moment..n him..we were together n well sms sumtymz n msn..but with shafie its juz sms n we dun realli sms a lot..yet im not like all analystic..kinda hev a feelin dat he will sms..n dat he is intrested..even after i liked his fren,dated his frenz fren,got together with hafiz n another guy..hell after sophan theres no way ill b goin in2 a serious relationship..ill keep my options open..n well like shalin sez..one needs a makeout partner..juz like she n jamie started out...n no hilmi..dun start..damn..im hungri again..wen i oredi had loads of sushi,then satay n now im eatin ice cream..yet im 46 kg..strangelah..haha oh downloaded buncha songs frm the oc n busted haha..like those buggers now..n i love the music from the oc..esp the killers..they rock!!!go download go download...the killers,the walkmen n of course death cab for cutie!!!
i hate watchin fairy tales..they are so hopewul with the whole love will conquer all crap..its like how can these characters find sum1 they love so much n risk everythin 4 em n in the end evrythin works out..y cant it b like dat in real life..i caved today..i smsd him to apologise after accidentli smsin him a msg for ril..n well after a few times he didnt repli anymore..u kno sumtymz u just hav a feelin bout sumthin..i juz hav dis feelin he likes sum1 else..or knw wad nad face it..he got tired of u..i still remember wad he sed bout wantin to concentrate on his studies..yeah n now his frenster thingy is all changed..y culdnt he just tell me dat to my face..instead of sayin things like his mom knoes or hiz feelins myt change for me or he wants to concentrate on his studies..n dat he still has feelins for me..or had..i dunno..i know im overanalsin again..i wanna ask him out 2moro but i dun dare..nah..hez prob busy..n no i aint askin him out nxt mon..i gota resist the urge..sum unknown people added me on frenster..n well i chatted to one of the guys on msn..the one whoz seen me with u kno who at bedok mrt..dunno y im like not intrested at all..its like im flattered that he so obviously likes me..but the only guy i wanna b with is him..but its hopeless..its never gonna happen..i thought that waiting myt b good..that if i waited for him things myt change..but they obviously wont..nwe i better go..faizal wants usage to his comp..n i gota go babysit now..
i hate the way u talk to me, and the way u cut ur hair.
i hate ur big dumb shoes, and the way u read my mind.
i hate u so much it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme.
i hate it when ur always right, i hate it when u lie.
i hate when u make me laugh, even worse when u make me cry.
i hate it when ur not around, i hate the fact u didnt call.
but most of all i hate the fact that i dun hate u.
not even close not even a little bit not even at all.
°things i hate about you°
I hate the way you look at me.
And the way you act so weird.
I hate the way you have no clue.
When you're far, when u were near.
I hate your stupid everything.
And the way you have no fears.
I hate you so much it makes me sick.
It even makes me tear.
I hate the way I talk to you.
I hate it when you're mad.
I hate it when you make me happy.
Even worse when you make me sad.
I hate it that you're just my friend.
And the fact that you don't care.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you.
Not even close, not even a little bit.
It's just not fair.
not gonna cry not gonnaa cry not gonna cry..actually i got an idea..juz gonna pop sum meds n go to sleep..god..y must i analyse things so much..its drivin me crazy..im crazy..oh fuck it..i dun care anymore..hate being like this..feeling like this..i miss him and i wish he would just say sumthin to me..this whole cold war thing sucks..and i know iv got to accept that he is bound to move on..ill never understand the whole love concept..y love sum1 u cant b with..n y must it hurt so much..and y isit..the person u tot was the one ends up bein the one who hurts u in the end..but arrgh..stop it..stop it..its just friendster nad..u urself changed ur status n stuff so y get all analystic wen he changes his..god i need food...looks like ill b gainin weit again..oredi 47k or 48 kg now..nice one lah
love the song..love the vid..love batman beyond..realised they showed it on tv1 juz now..at 11..supposed to b screened on central at 1030 but spore tv..didnt show it..instead power rangers was on..yuck..nwe todays ep had the new justice league..n theyre damn kewl..the new green lantern is cute(hez a small kid)..warhawk rocks..barda is a lot like wonderwoman n aquagirl is hot!!!but as i was watchin i suddenli tot of fathrul..we got realy close cos of extreme ghostbusters n closer cos of batman beyond n i gota admit he reminds me so much of terry..the looks..the personality..kinda miss him actualy..wad my best fren..nwe i dun tink im gonna go in2 my msn acc nimore..got matt to change my passwerd wic is so chim i doubt i cen ever get in i tink..the feelin sucks..not bein able to see him online nimore but its what i have to do..i guess..nwe im gonna vacuum n mop the house now..wanna sleep after that n studi later
im sick n tired of guys..all of them..done with dating..flirting whatever..cos in the end illalwez end up tinkin of him..i wish i could just be with another guy juz to forget him..its not like i dun have any choices..shafiee,dan,billabong guy,shah..n now possibli faizal*i know hez my cuz but not directli n its not the faizal im close to..this one is on my gmoms side*..i know the 1st 4 guys like me..but its like i cant b bothered to pursue anythin..when im with them i juz dun feel anythin..nothin at all..i dun wanna settle anymore..done it most of my life n i was never happy..i was happy when i was with him..n i ruined it..i was right all along..im so like marissa..i tink doin all this crap dat i keep on doin..pills..drinkin..bulimia will make things better but they dont..n ill onli end up hurtin others..hez better off without me..i was onli gonna end up ruinin his life nwe..its better this way..i should just b outa his life for good..no sms..no talkin..no msn..he deserves better
i almost smsd him!!almost..dunno y..haha what was i tinkin..wad if i suddenli sms him he'll suddenly wanna b frenz with me..or suddenli realise he may still like me..please..im jus kiddin myself..setting myself up to get hurt again..cos i know he'll end up pushin me away..i juz cant help missing him..n wonderin if he ever thinks bout me..highly doubt it..thats it lah..sum guy msgd me on frenster that day n we chatted yest..he sed he saw me at bedok a lot last year..with u kno hu lah..just had to remember everything..crap!!why cant he say sumthin to me..well he wont..n i wont too..juz leave it that way lah..ill get over it eventualli(mayb i shuld juz go for it*not talkin relationship* with sum guy eh..rebound thingy)..yeah ryt..like as if i dare..ok then..i wanna cont workin out..not goin out 2daelah..its juz wishful tinkin to hope he'll ask me out oso..carry on dreaming nad
1.35pm
ok i caved..im sorry..i smsd him..he wont repli dats for sure..wic is good..i guess..dunnola..dunno wad i want or hope for..i hate having feelings...n he replied..argh..y..y..god i miss him so much..i hate this..shouldv juz stuck to the way i felt bout him the 1st few weeks..da tym i tot it wouldnt work out..but no..i just had to fall for him..bloody fuckin shitt...i didn wanna fall for him..y y y...stupid stupid me..im an idiot...a huge monementally big idiot!!!
8.57pm
it shouldnt even b a problem anymore..wev been apart for more than 2months..hell even longer..i should b over it..over him..but im not..stupid huh..i recentli found that dinosaur thingy he won me at downtown east..put it into my box ryt after..yeah that box with the stuff dat reminded me of hafiz..his sweater,the photo albums n sum other stuff..haha..suddenli remembered the 1st time me n hafiz ate at pastamania..the loon made me keep the damn receipt..i tink it was like the day after we got together..annyway..was talkin to faizal juz now(yepp we made up)n now i dunno who i actualli liked more..i mean with hafiz evrything was smooth sailing the whole time(well minus that time we had a major blowout cos of the 51 guys but that was ok in the mornin)..till the breakup n the post breakup drama..with sop it had plenty of probs n stuff..but overall it was good..but with sop i was a lot more reserved..didnt let myself open up till after a few weeks..compared to hafiz(wic i so wont go into)..guess cos after hafiz i was still kinda scared..but the one thing i dun wan is to take more than 9 months to get over sop..i mean it took me 9 months to finalli get it in2 my system dat me n hafiz are totalli never ever ever gonna happen..ok iv got a qn...if i was to get intrested in my grandmothers sisters,son's son is that ok??cos if it not then iv got a major major major problem...i mean i used to hev a teeny weeny crush on him as a kid n got over it in sec sch but now..hez kinda noticed dat im alive n well the looks hez givin me now is soo like a bit obvious sia...(hevin class now)..plus since he joined ns he is kinda sorta da hot..oh god wad m i sayin..who m i kiddin..i cant do this..all the dating n almost relationships..like so far..things have taxied but never taken off with 3 guys..its not like theyre not great..but juz wen i look @ em i keep seeing him..n it scares me..cos i dun wanna fall for these guys..sumhow i feel like if i like another guy or even date one its like im cheatin him cos i still hev feelins for him..hez online now i so far iv done the click ,type but close window thingy twice..its killing me being apart from him but sumtymz the tot of him fallin for sum1 new is worse..shit..i cant tear up..shit shit..dats it..stop it with the emo trip..gona stop now..
crapz..typed so much n i deleted everything...ok so juz gonna summarise it all..
went skewl..common tests over*yay*..supposed to go bugis to pierce ears n possibly get the tattoo but malas..went to work..now im at home..dunno if i wanna go for the chalet tonyt or sentosa 2moro..its like dejavu..last semester after common test...oh god..i just realised wad happend last semester..ok ok forget it forget it..today im pretty happy with myself..didnt tink of him..no flashbacks or nithin..wanted to sms him b4 n after the tests but decided not to..juz kinda hopin he would sms me..but well he didnt..hey im not disapointed..mayb a bit..but hey i xpected it..n i kno if i did sms him..it wuldv prob not gone well..so anyway..watchin the oc now..love the new episodes..marissa seems pretty hot now..with the whole lesbian thing goin on n seth n summer myt juz get back together..things are gettin intrestin n i like it..ok im too tired to update mow..but promise to do it if im still up ltr ok..btw..
im takin this chance to wish andrea and rizal happy 4th year anniversary..when da hell r u guys gettin marriedlah??!!i xpect to b a groomsman opps i mean bridesmaid...*hehz*..
god i bloody miss him..shitlah!! why why why..no i hev to b strong..i can do this..6 days n counting..if i can survive these past few days i know that itll gradualli b okay..ill b ok..i hope
IM IN LOVE!!!!no not with some guy but with my ipod shuffle...yes yes i got it.wheee!!!but i wanna save up n buy the ipod...that is so much more cooler..nwe..im listenin to it now..hahahaa..what..im a jakon.so sue me..haha..ok so i had my ed test today..was pretty confident bout it..well till i got the paper n forgot everything..3rd time oredi sia!!!..nwe..while waitin for the class..i was at 56 in front of 04-08 readin last min..n for sum dumbo reason i turned n guess hu i ended up makin eye contact with...hafiz!!!i almost shreiked si..haha..ok i admit..the bugger looked good..(psst:did i mention hez still single..) but me n lyn startin to wonder if hez a fagala...will get into that later..me n marcus were helpin each other out durin da test haha...helped him in part 1 n he helped me with part 2..left when i couldnt tahan the cold..n ran in2 helmy akash n yan...then talked to em a while...went to the loo n when i came out...lo n behold vijay was ther(*cheer*)...haha n they were headin for the lift(*more cheers*)..
anyway..we all walked to the atrium wher vijay was meetin andre n guess wad..of all gundus hafiz was ther oso..*damn*..so i scooted off(as if i wanna b arnd hafiz)n went to the bus stop..dun even tink i sed bye to the guys..ran in2 lyn...acompanied her to get sum stuff done for syawal(yes they got back together...finalli..at least one of us is happi)..then went to get the ipod with her(saw hafiz at the bus stop again.y god y??!!never see 1 goon but gota see the other..)then she went to town to meet syawal..she was tellin me how she tinks hafiz hates her spendin tym with syawal alwez n she n i deduced that mayb juz mayb..hes in love with syawal..haha..now that would b classic..then my status would so increase..frm the girl who dated a gay to the girl who dated 2 gays!!..nwe i was gonna go down to shalins but honestli i was tired so i tot id go home..but i met hilmi on 23 n he wanted to hang so we wandered arnd tm n then juz hung out at the stairs near fish n co..had a "picnic"..i know i know a bit da minty ryt havin a so called picnic at a staircase..but it was fun..we got like 100g of 4 diff types of famous amos cookies,2 brownies n the cornflake cookies frm the store opp it(for me..*eatin it now*) n after gettin a bit sick..we got a blizzard frm OJ(strawberry..cannot handle choco)..then we walked arnd n ended up buyin 2 huge popcorns...n we walked frm tamp mall sumwehr near bedok resevoir..*dun ask*..but wen we reached we were bushed so we took a cab home..
now im chattin to aerfi n firdauz..been chattin with aerfi a lot lateli cos poor guy injured(no lach nothin is goin on..pleaselah)..hez been a great help..with skool n all..he act tot i finishd my tests today haha..padahal tomorow..sucks..i finish my tests 2moro n iv got nothin to do at all afterwards..uh uh no way m i goin out with the gang..itll b like couplefest 2005..onli ill b with what..ryan gackwood??*phuke n barf*..mayb ill head down to fc n juz chill..thou its boring..or go sentosa(if i got money)..or juz sumwher..ok then aerfi has been blinkin for da past 5 mins...ciao
ps:seth,ryan n zach are so damn funni together..its like when i watch em on the oc i laugh like iv never laughed b4(other than the time hafiz fell at the slope..ryt after he told me to b careful..ok y did i suddenli remember dat)..theyre juz so darn kewt..i love seth..n ryan..damn i love both..haha..like me n aerfi deduced..i shuld date sum1 whoze a mix of seth n ryan(seths bod n dress sense and humour n ryans personality n attitude)..with parents like sandy n kirsten..aka parents like rahmats..aka parents that dun hate my guts..im gonna leave now with this one last revelation... IM IN LOVE!!!!!...with ryan gackwood with his fists of fury...hahahaha...watch the oc episode 10 to know wad i meant ;-)
whee..i finally got the taufik song on my blog..its so nice..i was listenin to it the entire ride home haha..finalli found da lyrics too n guess wad i was right bout the denial part!!wah im quite good at guessing lyrics haha..nwe amd was ok..got brain block but managed to do it..now gonna cramp for ed..saw xin yang n farhan juz now while leavin..didnt see him..n haha saw my cute AT clasmate hehz..the sorta mss guy..dins fren..n b4 da test i kept on glancing at Jay...dunno y..but no..enough of datin classmates..look how well that turned out the last time..ok ok..i tink yesterdays cookin got to me(i cooked so like duh)..heres da lyrics for one last...n the music is playin in da background so enjoy...
One Last - Taufik Batisah
I never could imagine, life without you
From the moment you walked into my world
Never knew how long a loving flame could burn
But losing you has forced me to learn
That we can’t change the way we feel inside
And every try at love never turns out right
We both know it’s better if we just let it go
So let’s have
(Chorus)
one last kiss
one last touch
one last tender moment between us
one last dance to our first song
while pretending theres nothing wrong
lets stay here for a while and
cherish every moment we’re in denial
We both know
It’s better if we just let it go
Every time I try to take a stand at all
I see your face again and I fall
But we can’t change the way we feel inside
And every try at love never turns out right
We both know it’s better if we just let it go
So let’s have
Chorus
Baby if we met each other under a different sky
Maybe then things would be much better between you and I
We could always hold on to this one special thing we share
But it would be too much for us to bear
So let’s have
Chorus
god i love this song so much..n i still love him...oh god what m i saying..
stop it nad..3 months of all this is enough..its time to get it through ur head that its over..in everyway possible..just let it go cos it doesnt matter how u feel..
hate admitting this..but i miss him..havnt seen him in weeks not counting monday morning when he looked like he was pissed at me..sucks so much to feel this way..that he feels the way he feels about me..god i cant even write anything..cant even study for gods sake..urgh..y did i fall for him..bloody hell..
listenin to taufik's-one last ...its really nice but naturally it makes me think of him..sumtymz i wonder if i was the idiot..fooling myself into believing that it was really love..forget it..dun even wanna think too much now..juz wanna studi my amd like crazy..cos i gota pass..
btw...dan..get over urself..iv long acceptd things between me and him oare over in every single way possible..i may take a long time to forget him n i still love him but i know he and i will never b together..even as friends..so uv got nothin to b scared bout..im staying single for a really long time and for gods sake im fine..whether im happy,depressed or whatever its totally my problem which iv got to get through on my own..u have got to focus on ur life..ur stuff..il b fine..i was fine my entire life..ill b fine now..if u really do love me then give me my space ok..
i dcided not to meet shalin n jamie..juz not in the mood..thats me recentli..hell i know i wont b goin out with em on vals weekend..dun think i can stomach being with them n their significant others..yeh i kno i can ask hilmi along but its diff..seeing them all lovey n dovey will make me utterly sick..i know..i juz cant do it..hilmi sed i shuld ju ask vijay out...hah!!pleaselah..i tink the guy is just way outta my league..id have better chances askin syukri out..no way will i ask him out ok..n no im not gonna ask that ex of mine out..now im not even gona..u know what..im gonna stop..no point voicing out how i feel when i know it only makes me more miserable when i read it..time to block it out..block everything out..
anyway..went to visit mariana..her baby is just the cutest thing on earth..its juz like leyla..doesnt cry n is like a liitle kitten..she was surrounded by all her toys n what did she wanna play with..my compact..haha..so cute sia..and she kept on wantin indra to hold her(hell if i was her id want that too)..n shez like what tickle proof ah...tickle tickle..n i got nothing..she jz gave this look...arggh...she makes all other babies look bad..im totalli in love with her..n her name...isabella..i love that name..damn..now im startin to think over the whole never havin baby thing..if i had 5 babies like her i so wont mind..no im not sayin i want 5..mayb at the most 3 or mayb 4..well if i ever decide to get married..then again if i do..i tink ill get married to sum1 i dont love..marriages never last so at least if the guy cheats on me it wont hurt..haha..alwez got divorce n most importantli prenuptial aggrements..(he has to b super rich duh)..hey love cant buy u a bmw and a nice house n yoga classes..i know what im saying is superficial but after goin throu the stuff i went through i think its best i never ever fall in "love" again..
